Day 41: God Collects his Debt


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if something is given to me for safekeeping, that I must then use it as though it is my own, even if it means risking that something and not being able to give it back as had been previously agreed – because of how the story of the parable of the talents goes that I was taught about in school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the word of God and give more weight to words that are apparently words from God – as though they must by default be more true than anything else I had ever considered – and within this, override my own common sense with moral brainwashing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trade my common sense for what some type of authority person has to say without a moment of thought, without hesitation, without consideration.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear spending money out offear of losing it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to invest money and magically multiply it, as though this wouldn’t have any consequences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as the parable of the talents, defining what is ‘good’ and what is ‘bad’ according to a story of morality where some are judged to have acted in a good way and others are judged to have acted in a bad way.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to read words for what they are, but immediately believe a person when they say I should interpret the words in a different way, and within that – no longer see the words for what they are, and no longer see what the words imply and how they influence/program me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the bible is just a programming machine that teaches humans to accept the currenteconomic system without question – as this story is the perfect example of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as going to develop all your talents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it’s not fair that ‘good’ means you have to develop all your talents – because mostly, whatever I tried out, I was good at and I was angry with God that he wanted me to become as good as I could be in all of those talents – where I ended up continuously being in classes – both in school and extra-curricular, to develop all my talents to the fullest, while feeling that I had no choice but to be there, even if I was no longer interested – because I had a duty to develop my talents in order to be good – even if those talents have no practical value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I had a duty towards God to develop all the talents he had ‘bestowed’ on me, to make sure that when I meet my maker – I am able to show that I have developed my talents and ‘multiplied’ them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always accept statements from others saying that I must continue doing what I’m good at – and therefore always following ‘my talents’ without stopping to consider if I actually enjoy what I spend all this time developing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I had a duty towards my parents to develop the talents that they had given me – as I was born from them, therefore I believed they had given me those skills – and therefore, I believed it was my duty to make them proud in becoming the most skilled version of myself, so that they have something to show for themselves:  “look what I created”.


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