This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
Day 34: Make a Happy Family 
Day 35:Don't Act like Lady Gaga - Act like a Real Lady!
Day 36: Join JESUS on The CROSS -What?! WHY?!? Day 37: The Secret to a Successful Life!
Day 37: Be Good, Little Human
Day 38: Richness, Compliments and Validation

Day 40: The Parable of the Talents

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if something is given to me for safekeeping, that I must then use it as though it is my own, even if it means risking that something and not being able to give it back as had been previously agreed – because of how the story of the parable of the talents goes that I was taught about in school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the word of God and give more weight to words that are apparently words from God – as though they must by default be more true than anything else I had ever considered – and within this, override my own common sense with moral brainwashing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trade my common sense for what some type of authority person has to say without a moment of thought, without hesitation, without consideration.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear spending money out offear of losing it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to invest money and magically multiply it, as though this wouldn’t have any consequences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as the parable of the talents, defining what is ‘good’ and what is ‘bad’ according to a story of morality where some are judged to have acted in a good way and others are judged to have acted in a bad way.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to read words for what they are, but immediately believe a person when they say I should interpret the words in a different way, and within that – no longer see the words for what they are, and no longer see what the words imply and how they influence/program me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the bible is just a programming machine that teaches humans to accept the currenteconomic system without question – as this story is the perfect example of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as going to develop all your talents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it’s not fair that ‘good’ means you have to develop all your talents – because mostly, whatever I tried out, I was good at and I was angry with God that he wanted me to become as good as I could be in all of those talents – where I ended up continuously being in classes – both in school and extra-curricular, to develop all my talents to the fullest, while feeling that I had no choice but to be there, even if I was no longer interested – because I had a duty to develop my talents in order to be good – even if those talents have no practical value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I had a duty towards God to develop all the talents he had ‘bestowed’ on me, to make sure that when I meet my maker – I am able to show that I have developed my talents and ‘multiplied’ them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always accept statements from others saying that I must continue doing what I’m good at – and therefore always following ‘my talents’ without stopping to consider if I actually enjoy what I spend all this time developing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I had a duty towards my parents to develop the talents that they had given me – as I was born from them, therefore I believed they had given me those skills – and therefore, I believed it was my duty to make them proud in becoming the most skilled version of myself, so that they have something to show for themselves:  “look what I created”.

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This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
Day 34: Make a Happy Family 
Day 35:Don't Act like Lady Gaga - Act like a Real Lady!
Day 36: Join JESUS on The CROSS -What?! WHY?!? Day 37: The Secret to a Successful Life!
Day 37: Be Good, Little Human
Day 38: Richness, Compliments and Validation

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I have connected the word 'good' to:


The Parable of the Talents

Before applying self-forgiveness on this point, I would like to expand on it.

With the parable of the talents I’m referring to the Christian parable that I was taught about in school when I was 12. Here it is:

13 “Therefore stay alert, because you do not know the day or the hour. 14 For it is like a man going on a journey, who summoned his slaves and entrusted his property to them. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The one who had received five talents went off right away and put his money to work270 and gained five more. 17 In the same way, the one who had two gained two more. 18 But the one who had received one talent went out and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money in it. 19 After a long time, the master of those slaves came and settled his accounts with them. 20 The one who had received the five talents came and brought five more, saying, ‘Sir, you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’ 21 His master answered, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave! You have been faithful in a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 The one with the two talents also came and said, ‘Sir, you entrusted two talents to me. See, I have gained two more.’ 23 His master answered, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave! You have been faithful with a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 Then the one who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Sir, I knew that you were a hard man, harvesting where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered, ‘Evil and lazy slave! So you knew that I harvest where I didn’t sow and gather where I didn’t scatter? 27 Then you should have deposited my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received my money back with interest! 28 Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten. 29 For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30 And throw that worthless slave into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’” (Matthew 25:13-30). 271

Source: http://bible.org/seriespage/parable-talents-matthew-2514-30-luke-1912-28

I remember being very confused about the outcome of the story. Because as I heard that the first two slaves were going to invest money that wasn’t theirs, I was like ‘wow, don’t do that – it’s not yours to spend’. And I thought ‘well, yeah – dig it in the ground, then you’re sure you won’t be tempted to spend it’. And then, afterwards, the lord apparently was proud of the servants who had invested his money and multiplied it and was pissed off with the one that had done what it had asked: safeguarded the money and given it back.

Then the teacher went on explaining that even though ‘talents’ was a currency in that time, that the story was a parable about talents in terms of skills – that you can’t burry your talents into the ground but that you have to go and develop them. But reading the story again now – there is really no metaphor going on here – this story is just about money and how to treat another’s money. And, it’s interesting, because I’ve been writing about the banking system in the Economist’s Journey to Life blogs recently and discussing how banks use money that isn’t theirs to make more money out of it, just like in this story – lol. So – that is what is being justified here by God: the entire banking and capitalistic system.

Check out specifically this statement:

“For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.”

That is exactly what we’re doing within the current capitalistic system and this one seemingly morally important story, which they teach children about in school – is the divine justification for it. God teaches children: take from those who don’t have anything and give it to those who have plenty. People – that’s how the world works. What do you think the relationship is between the developed and the developing countries in the world? Exactly this: Resources are taken from those who don’t have and mostly live in poverty and are given to those who are already living comfortable lives.

No wonder this story never ‘sat right’ with me!

To be continued. Learn more »

This blog is a continuation of: Day 30: Goodness as Positivity, Day 31: You're My HERO!!! and Day 32: Consistency - continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I associate the word 'Good' with: 

Having High Grades in School

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within having high grades in school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I score high grades in school, that I actually am a better person.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to accept my common sense as a child when I saw that it can’t make me special or different that I have high scores, because I just simply understood everything and, thus, I didn’t do anything different or better than other kids per say – the only difference is that I just happened to understand the information as it was presented to me and others didn’t – yet, instead allowed myself to feel good and better aboutmyself when my parents and brother were amazed with my grades to the point of being in tears when seeing my school report.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am in relation to grades – entirely taking grades personally, where I believed that grades represent me, instead of realising that they merely represented how much of the information was effectively integrated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a character of being a star pupil because in playing this card/playing out this character, I was always ensured to get a lot of praise and attention, which in those moments would make me feel good about myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my ability to understand with ease to get attention, praise and positive energy from those who don’t have the same ability – when obviously, I didn’t do anything to have this ability, I was born with it, and thus it doesn’t make any sense for someone with certain ‘born-with’ skills or abilities to be praised for those skills or abilities – because it doesn’t have anything to do with the being – it was determined through DNA.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself believe that Ireally do deserve to be praised and admired for having high grades, believing that my ability in understanding and processing information is something I brought about, instead of realising that I had nothing to do with it and that I am thus no more or less than anyone else in this respect, as we were all equally dealt cards by someone/something else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the star pupil character in order to hide the aspects of/in myself that I was not proud of – because in playing the star pupil, I would be praised and be given a sense of pride, to suppress my inner experiences of shame, guilt and regret.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, whenever I am faced with a being that I see as authoritative, enter into the ‘star pupil character’, trying to convince them that I always do everything right, out of fear that they will punish me/lash out on me if they see that I really don’t.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition myself into wanting to have high grades, because with high grades comes reward and with low grades comes punishment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have extreme fear of being punished as a child as I saw that teachers/parents really looked at children they punished with eyes that said: “You’re a bad child!!!”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel utterly ashamed within myself the first time I got punished by a teacher for spilling salt – because I thought it meant that I was a bad child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself in relation to punishment and reward, and thus, in essence, according to how others judgeme in relation to what I do/say or how I perform.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be seen as a bad child and to fear to be a bad child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be seen as a bad person and fear to be a bad person.

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