Day 34: Make a Happy Family

This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.


In my mind, I associate the word 'Good' with:
 

Being in love, being married and having children

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within being in love, being married and having children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as living a regular life without asking questions, but just do as everyone else does.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have a boyfriend so that I could be normal and like everyone else, because I thought that being in love like normal people is necessary to be a good person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look forward to being a married woman and having a family, because I felt out of place within myself and thought that if I did what everyone else did, then maybe I would figure out what to do and how to be and who to be – that everything would fall into its right place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for answers to my experiences within, outside of myself – believing that other people, a husband and children, would be able to fix me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to do what is expected of me, that I would be a good person if I just fall in love, get married and have children just like everyone else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that doing good means to not step on anyone’s toes by going against the norm and therefore, to ‘go with the flow’ and just do whatever it is everyone else is doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that you can’t be a successful woman unless you found a man who wants to marry you and have children with you.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that you can’t be a good woman unless you find a man who wants to marry you and have children with you.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that you can’t be a good woman unless you reproduce yourself and do unto your children what was done unto you – keeping the legacy of the family-line/blood-line alive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that honouring the family-line is a duty and responsibility and has important value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that as part of a family, it is my duty to continue that family – where, if I were to decide to not have children, I would not only affect my own life, but the family in itself, because I would create a ‘dead-end’ in the family tree and increase the chances that the family line will end.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to make my parents/aunts/uncles/grandparents proud by continuing the family line.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define family and being part of a family as ‘good’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being married/ not having children out of fear that my family will turn on me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I ‘owe’ my family children so that the family-line may continue – because they ‘took care’ of me while growing up.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise to what extent family is a cult – where you are brainwashed from a young age to want to get married and have children, just to continue the family-line – as though it is something valuable and worth doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not living up to my family’s expectations if I weren’t to have children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I would ‘let my family down’ if I didn’t have children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as though the decision of having children or not is not mine to make, because it apparently concerns the whole family – instead of realising that the concept of family is not real in the first place, it is not something that can be touched, that is physical – it is just a made-up concept of relationships that tie people together in a system of control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to have children to please my family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a woman who dedicates her life to her husband and children is someone who has her priorities straightened out, because of the belief that there is nothing more important than family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept, believe and live the statement: There is nothing more important than family.