Day 35: Don't Act like Lady Gaga - Act like a Real Lady!

This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
Day 34: Make a Happy Family
- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.


In my mind, I associate the word 'Good' with: 
 

Being Polite

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as ‘being polite’ and ‘acting like a lady’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being polite makes one a good/better person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition myself into believing that being polite is good in response to my parents becoming angry, embarrassed, ashamed whenever I acted/behaved in a way that was judged as impolite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try my best to ‘act like a lady’ because other grown-ups would pick up on ‘my good manners’ and compliment my parents for it and then they would be proud of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition/compose my body in taking on the physical mannerisms and attitudes that are seen as polite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that polite and impolite actually exist.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that impolite is a word created from the fear of being rejected and polite a word created from the desire to be accepted and that they don’t really mean anything other than that.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to kid myself into believing that I would change as a being and actually ‘become better’ if I just acted as a different character.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to practice to become the politeness character in order to gain positive responses and thus positive feelings and energy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ingrain the politeness character into my physical, and thus – to actually, physically become it as I programmed my cells to be different to as convincingly as possible pretend to be someone I am not.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that politeness has nothing to do with who I am, because it is something that I forced unto myself in order to fit in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a polite girl.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to act in a natural, comfortable way, out of fear of people judging me as impolite and judging me and from there, rejecting me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up my natural, comfortable self-expression to trade it with a physical character of politeness – entirely and completely restricting and suppressing who I am/my self-expression – betraying myself for the acceptance of others, without realising that I never needed/required another’s acceptance, but only required to accept myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my parents for my self-constriction, self-limitation and self-suppression through teaching me to be polite – when it was me who accepted the instructions and willingly, motivatedly took it upon myself to become as polite as I could.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that especially girls should be polite and ‘lady-like’ – that for boys it is still acceptable if they speak/act in a loose and comfortable way, but that it is really inappropriate for a girl to ‘let go’ of her pose and composition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just swallow everything grown-ups told me about who to be and how to be, without looking at the points for myself in common sense – too blinded and consumed by the desire to be good, to be right, to be accepted, to be praised.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that woman should never be allowed to be comfortable and natural in their expression and their physical holding of themselves – because if they do, they are unattractive and no-one will want to marry them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that no-one would want to be with me/marry me if I didn’t apply and live the rules of politeness because my parents and other grown-ups would often say that if I continued to act like that, no guy would ever find me attractive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live my present in service of my future in trying to fulfill the picture I had in my mind of me getting married – and thus, tried to do everything I could to ensure this picture from becoming reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sit with my legs crossed to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sit with a straight back to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to eat with my mouth closed to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to eat without my elbows leaning on the table to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to smile as much as possible to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to nod my head and agree with people to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not hold my head up with my hands when sitting, to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to drag my feet in order to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to lean on things, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tuck my shirt in my pants to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to comb my hair to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to apologise before speaking in a group discussion to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to apologise to people when bumping into them to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to help someone when they drop something by helping them pick it back up, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up my seat for an old person or pregnant woman on a bus, tram, metro or train, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘speak in two words’ – by always saying ‘yes, sir’ or ‘yes, mam’ instead of just ‘yes’ – in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look people in the eye when they speak to me, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to employ the socially accepted ways of greeting, thanking, excusing and saying goodbye, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to greet people that my parents or siblings know when I cross them on the street, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to exhale/say ‘aaaaaah’ after drinking, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slurp in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take small bites and eat slowly, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to monitor my food-intake and eat less than normal when in company of others, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise how much of what I thought was ‘who I am’ was merely a self-manufactured character of politeness that I used to not have people become offended with me, and thus, reject me and make me feel bad about their experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally when other people are offended with my behaviour.