Now - while I was watching the episode about surviving as cave-men - they showed how the group of people basically started starving, going into hypothermia, dehydration, etc. Their last hope was being able to kill an elk for food, because that would ensure they would be properly fed for a while. They made many attempts, but each time the hunter-party came back to camp with empty hands. When they finally managed to kill an elk and the it was shown how relieved everyone was, almost euphoric that there was food - I started experiencing the same thing. There was like tears in my eyes, couldn't help but laughing, the whole thing. That's when I knew - oh, oooh - something weird is going on.
Afterwards, my head was pounding and my body was dehydrated. I then looked a bit deeper at my entire experience while watching the show - and realised that the entire time I had been placing myself in the position of the people in the show, looking at: what would I do? How would I go about that? What would I do different? I'd definitely say or do that in that situation! Oh! I should remember about that, that's a good survival tip! Even when they showed the 'cave-men' people how to use this prehistorical weapon, I was imagining myself doing it, like 'practicing' it in my mind - just in case I ever need to know how to do that - LOL. So - while watching the show, I had placed myself in a survival state of mind.
When I was a child and teenager, while watching a scary movie and someone got hurt - I'd be like: FUCK! I don't want that to happen to me! And then I'd in my mind, quickly make a plan of what I would do if I were in the same situation to not end up hurt the same way. I'd even do it after having a nightmare - go like 'oh man, that could really happen to me' - and then try to 'prepare myself' for such an event by having an action plan prepared.
So - that would obvioulsy indicate that there is a fear existent within me of being hurt or dying and not knowing what to do to prevent it. And I'd use TV-shows and movies primarily to gain more and more knowledge of all the possible scenarios that could play out where I would be in a position of disadvantage - to then create a database of survival plans - so that I would feel 'safer' that if something would happen, that I would know what to do.
To be continued.