Friday, November 30, 2012

Day 80: Taking Responsibility for my Fears

This is a continuation to
Day 72: My Body, My Battlefield,
Day 73: Afraid of Petrification,

Day 74: Con or Be Conned - The Social Law of Human Behaviour?,
Day 76: The Mind as a Parasite Virus,
Day 77: When God Makes a Pact with the Devil Day 78: The Good Guys versus the Bad Guys

When and as I see myself reacting in fear due to projecting within my mind a scenery or situation in which I am experiencing petrification - I stop, I breathe - I realise that I am experiencing fear, not because I actually fear that which I am projecting within my mind as the scenery/situation, where in essence the fear has got nothing to do with the scenery/situation, but that I am through the projection, bringing the experience of petrification that I project/imagine I would have in such a scenery/situation 'here' - and thus, I create the perception/idea/belief that my fear stands in relation to something else, when actually, I have merely superimposed my imagined/projected fear unto the here/now moment, and thus - creating an experience of fear. And thus, I commit myself to, in such a moment where when and as I see myself reacting in fear due to superimposing an imagined experience of petrification on the present moment, let go of the fear, stabilise myself through breathing and proceed in common sense.

When and as I see myself going into a fear of being conned or deceived - I stop, I breathe - I realise that we have played the game of 'con or be conned' for far too long and that participating within this fear will inevitably lead to deception from my part in order to 'protect' me from being conned - and therefore, I commit myself to let go of the fear, stabilise myself within my body in breath, embrace myself in self-trust and proceed with common sense.

When and as I see myself going into fear due to feeling that 'who I am' as all the judgments, perceptions, beliefs, opinions, thoughts, feelings, emotions, definitions, fears, perceptions in and of my mind is in some way being challenged and therefore, tend to go into a defensive/protective mode - I stop, I breathe - I realise that all the judgments, perceptions, beliefs, opinions, thougths, feelings, emotions, definitions, fears, perceptions in and of my mind are nothing but foreign entities that i have imposed upon myself as well as my physical body and thus, are not who I am and do not require my protection, but instead my scrutiny - and thus, I commit myself let go of the fear as well as whatever judgement, perception, belief, opinion, thought, feeling, emotion, definition, fear or perception that was being challenged - as it is only a figment of my imagination through the mind and not real.

When and as I see myself going into a fear of being taken over and losing control - I stop, I breathe - I realise that within and as the fear, I am actually giving my power away to that which I perceive is attempting to take over and control me, and within that - I am in fact giving that something/someone the permission to take over as, within the fear, I am stating that I am 'in fear' = inferior - and thus, unable to stop their attempt to take over/control me - and thus, I commit myself to place the something/someone that I see as a threat that is attempting to take me over/control me within and as me and embrace myself as equal and one as that something/someone - herein diffusing any ideas or perceptions of inferiority/superiority and thus, placing myself in a position where I am able to direct myself and determine and express what I accept and allow and what I don't accept and allow.

When and as I see myself victimising myself - I stop, I breathe - I realise that nothing can ever really be done unto me and that any harm something or someone else inflicts on me is only me self-created consequences as I left a space within myself or my life where I was not the directive principle and self-honesty, and thus gave the outside something/someone the permission and freedom to become the directive principle in my stead - and thus, I commit myself to let go of the victimisation and instead empower myself through taking responsibility by investigating the points I have missed/left undirected and becoming the directive principle within them.

When and as I see myself going into fear of vulnerability, fear of being fragile, fear of pain or fear of death - I stop, I breathe - I realise that the physical reality of being vulnerable, being fragile, possibly experiencing pain and certainly experiencing death sooner or later - are things that are currently inevitable and to which I can make no immediate difference - and thus, I commit myself to let go of the fear as the fear will not magically change the physical reality of vulnerability, fragility, pain and death - and thus, instead, I embrace the reality of vulnerability, fragility, possible pain and certain death, making peace with it and proceeding in self-silence.

When and as I see myself categorising people in the categories of 'good guys' and 'bad guys' - I stop, I breathe - I realise I am seeing people/he world in black and white as how I taught myself to see people/the world through watching cartoons in which some people are always entirely/purely good and some people are always entirely/purely evil - and thus, I stop myself from labeling people and seeing the world/people in black and white, and instead - place them within and as me, embracing them as me within the realisation that every human being is equally evil within accepting and allowing the exact same self-dishonesties to exist within them, which always include some form of harm and disregard to life - and that the only difference is that with some beings some types of dishonesties are more prominent and more obvious than with others and that some are able to hide and disguise their deceptions more easily - but that, in essence, everyone is the same - equal and one.
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