Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Day 78: The Good Guys versus the Bad Guys

This blog is a continuation to
Day 72: My Body, My Battlefield,
Day 73: Afraid of Petrification,

Day 74: Con or Be Conned - The Social Law of Human Behaviour?,
Day 76: The Mind as a Parasite Virus,
Day 77: When God Makes a Pact with the Devil

Specific points of fear I identified in relation to watching an episode of 'Curiosity' on what happens on a cellular level when a virus attacks the human body:

1. A secret intruder/a lurking evil
2. The conning and deceiving of the body's cells
3. The complete take-over of a cell, where 'who the cell originally was' becomes non-existent and becomes an incubator for little virus babies
4. The manipulation of 'innocent' proteins
5. The ruthlessness/mercilessness in instant destruction
6. The singlemindedness of having one singular goal of destruction

5. The ruthlessness/mercilessness in instant destruction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in fear when and as I see the entities that make up the human immune system instantly destroy a virus.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in fear due to the realisation that with every lifeform there is another lifeform that is able to crush/destroy the first lifeform in a matter of seconds.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reactin fear due to the realisatio that I can be destroyed/crushed in a matter of seconds and that physical strength is a relative term - where, even if I perceive my human physical body to be quite a strong organism - there are conditions under which it will die almost instantly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear vulnerability and fragility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear vulnerability and fragility as I connect both words with the experience of pain - where, if I feel vulnerable or fragile, I immediately expect the possibility of pain, and within that expectation and possibility, immediately bring the experience of pain here - and thus - give myself a feedback system of 'vulnerable' or 'fragile' equals pain - teaching myself that vulnerability and fragility are two things that need to be avoided - instead of realising that they are physical facts that I can currently not change - and thus, since I am aware of the vulnerability and fragility and that I can do nothing about it, I might as well embrace it - as there is no practical value in being in fear of getting hurt because of feeling vulnerable or fragile - it's not going to make any difference to my physical state in terms of suddenly becoming stronger or less fragile.

6. The singlemindedness of having one singular goal of destruction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in fear when I saw a virus carrying out each action as a step within a thought-out plan with the singular goal of destroying the human physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear beings with a singlemindedness of having one singular goal of causing destruction or doing harm.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that I programmed this fear within myself through watching cartoons and movies as a child - where the 'bad guy' always had such a mind-set with the only goal of being 'evil' and where every action was always carefully planned and thought-out to serve in his/her masterplan of inflicting harm unto others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to categorise people into 'good guys' and 'bad guys' - where the 'good guys' always have 'good intentions' and the 'bad guys' only have bad intentions - and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a positive, hopeful, excited and comforting feeling to someone I have categorised as a 'good guy' and connect an experience of fear and resistance to someone I have categorised as a bad guy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and see the world/people in black and white as how human beings were presented in cartoons and movies when I was a child - as either being 'good' or being 'evil' - instead of seeing/realising that every kind of deception exists in every single person - where with some beings some types are more prominent and more obvious than with others and where some can for instance hide any deception exceptionally well - yet, in essence each one is equally evil as each one participates in the same self-dishonesties that always include some form of harm and disregard to life.
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