Sunday, November 18, 2012

Day 71: When Panic Strikes

When and as I see myself being 'absorbed' into TV-programs - I stop, I breathe - I realise that I am I projecting myself into the experience of the characters that I see on the TV-screen, and thus, in essence, locking myself into a limited dimension in my own mind, and am no longer present, here in my physical body and my physical environment. And thus, I commit myself to focus on my breathing and bring myself back here, infusing myself back into my physical body and being aware of my physical environment - in essence, 'putting my feet back on Earth'.

When and as I see myself reacting in fear and panic because I see someone being hurt or dying on TV - I stop, I breathe - I realise that I have programmed myself to enter into a process of attempting to train myself to defend myself in a similar situation in an attempt to avoid the same harm if I were to find myself in that situation - and thus, I commit myself to let go of the fear and panic and ground myself in the physical hear, no longer participating in the GI Jane survival character.

When and as I see myself entering/being in a survival frame of mind - I stop, I breathe - I realise that I am entering a kind of narrow-tunnel-vision/rushed experience in which I am actually relinquishing my common sense and attempt to 'solve' the problem or situation through if-this-then-that equations, thinking and believing that I can apply the same action in any similar situation - and thus, I realise that if I were to ever find myself in a dangerous situation, my action will depend on my consideration of everything and everyone that is involved within that singular particular moment - and cannot be predicted or rehearsed before hand. And thus, I commit myself to breathe and stabilise myself into my human physical body, embracing myself in self-trust and self-stability.

When and as I see myself participating in fear of pain and fear of death - I stop, I breathe - I realise that I will die and that there is currently nothing I can do about it - and thus, I commit myself to embrace this fact as I see/realise/understand that if I stand, even death cannot change me.

When and as I see myself thinking/believing that I can cheat death and desiring to cheat death - I stop, I breathe - I realise that the mind is the very reason why we cannot live in the same physical body eternally, and thus that participating in thoughts, beliefs, fears and desires in no way is going to help me avoid death. And thus, I commit myself to let go of the thought/belief/desire to cheat death and ground myself in my physical body here, realising that I am here at this very moment, and thus - that is all that matters.

When and as I see myself attempting/desiring to control my environment - I stop, I breathe - I realise that it is impossible to really be in control of my environment as this would imply the subjugation of my environment to me, and I realise that what I am actually trying to do is deluding/brainwashing myslef into believing that I actually am in control as a way of suppressing and not having to deal with my present situation. And thus, I let go of the fear, embrace myself as course and deliberately face myself through my environment head-on in self-honesty, self-trust and common sense.

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