This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
Day 34: Make a Happy Family 
Day 35:Don't Act like Lady Gaga - Act like a Real Lady!
Day 36: Join JESUS on The CROSS -What?! WHY?!? Day 37: The Secret to a Successful Life!
Day 37: Be Good, Little Human
Day 38: Richness, Compliments and Validation

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I have connected the word 'good' to:


The Parable of the Talents

Before applying self-forgiveness on this point, I would like to expand on it.

With the parable of the talents I’m referring to the Christian parable that I was taught about in school when I was 12. Here it is:

13 “Therefore stay alert, because you do not know the day or the hour. 14 For it is like a man going on a journey, who summoned his slaves and entrusted his property to them. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The one who had received five talents went off right away and put his money to work270 and gained five more. 17 In the same way, the one who had two gained two more. 18 But the one who had received one talent went out and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money in it. 19 After a long time, the master of those slaves came and settled his accounts with them. 20 The one who had received the five talents came and brought five more, saying, ‘Sir, you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’ 21 His master answered, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave! You have been faithful in a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 The one with the two talents also came and said, ‘Sir, you entrusted two talents to me. See, I have gained two more.’ 23 His master answered, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave! You have been faithful with a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 Then the one who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Sir, I knew that you were a hard man, harvesting where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered, ‘Evil and lazy slave! So you knew that I harvest where I didn’t sow and gather where I didn’t scatter? 27 Then you should have deposited my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received my money back with interest! 28 Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten. 29 For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30 And throw that worthless slave into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’” (Matthew 25:13-30). 271

Source: http://bible.org/seriespage/parable-talents-matthew-2514-30-luke-1912-28

I remember being very confused about the outcome of the story. Because as I heard that the first two slaves were going to invest money that wasn’t theirs, I was like ‘wow, don’t do that – it’s not yours to spend’. And I thought ‘well, yeah – dig it in the ground, then you’re sure you won’t be tempted to spend it’. And then, afterwards, the lord apparently was proud of the servants who had invested his money and multiplied it and was pissed off with the one that had done what it had asked: safeguarded the money and given it back.

Then the teacher went on explaining that even though ‘talents’ was a currency in that time, that the story was a parable about talents in terms of skills – that you can’t burry your talents into the ground but that you have to go and develop them. But reading the story again now – there is really no metaphor going on here – this story is just about money and how to treat another’s money. And, it’s interesting, because I’ve been writing about the banking system in the Economist’s Journey to Life blogs recently and discussing how banks use money that isn’t theirs to make more money out of it, just like in this story – lol. So – that is what is being justified here by God: the entire banking and capitalistic system.

Check out specifically this statement:

“For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.”

That is exactly what we’re doing within the current capitalistic system and this one seemingly morally important story, which they teach children about in school – is the divine justification for it. God teaches children: take from those who don’t have anything and give it to those who have plenty. People – that’s how the world works. What do you think the relationship is between the developed and the developing countries in the world? Exactly this: Resources are taken from those who don’t have and mostly live in poverty and are given to those who are already living comfortable lives.

No wonder this story never ‘sat right’ with me!

To be continued.

This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
Day 34: Make a Happy Family 
Day 35:Don't Act like Lady Gaga - Act like a Real Lady!
Day 36: Join JESUS on The CROSS -What?! WHY?!? Day 37: The Secret to a Successful Life!
Day 37: Be Good, Little Human

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I have connected the word 'good' to:

Being rich

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as being rich.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that rich people are rich due to their own merit.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a person’s goodness according to the amount of money and wealth they have.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that those with money have that money because they deserve it as being better people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if one is poor, one must have done something bad to not be blessed with a life of richness.

Compliments & Validation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ and being good within and as receiving compliments from others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if someone gives a compliment, that this compliment is a validation of be good in some way or in some aspect of my life/myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that someone making a remark/comment/acknowledgement of something that they see in relation to me, defines me and can change who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to actually define my ‘goodness’ by summing up the ‘positive’/encouraging remarks I get from people and, as such, keep a score of all the positive reactions that I experienced within myself in relation to these remarks and define the sum total of these positive feelings, my ‘goodness’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continuously actively try to please other people in order to get compliments from them and feel good about myself, within the belief that the longer and the more often I feel good about myself, the better a person I am becoming.

This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
Day 34: Make a Happy Family 
Day 35:Don't Act like Lady Gaga - Act like a Real Lady!
Day 36: Join JESUS on The CROSS -What?! WHY?!?

Day 37: The Secret to a Successful Life!

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I have connected the word 'good' to:

Christianity – Jesus – God – Heaven

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define ‘good’ within and as everything that is portrayed as ‘positive’ and ‘good’ within Christianity – such as Jesus, God and Heaven.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the answer to leading a proper life can be found within Christianity or religion in general – where I take in the words of others teaching about what it means to live a proper life and just accept it as truth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to go looking for answers in a ‘great book’ that apparently has the knowledge of ‘good and evil’ and from where I can learn what it means to live in a way that is appropriate – instead of just using my own common sense and testing the points out for myself.

Being healthy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ and ‘being good’ within and as being healthy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a person who is not healthy is a bad person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge people, including myself, based on a person’s health.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a good person as a person who is in perfect health; who is slim, who has nice skin, who has perfect hair, who looks radiant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a person who has bad health has bad karma and that this person is suffering because he/she has done something wrong or bad in their life and therefore deserves to have health problems.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, when I see someone who doesn’t meet the general ‘health standards’ think ‘ai, ai, ai – that person must have really fucked up to turn out so bad’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in karma and give the concept of karma value without ever investigating what karma is and whether it is something that really supports a being or not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I’m a good person, God will reward me with good health – and thus, that if I’m ill or having health issues, that God is punishing me for being a bad person/having done something wrong.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself that the human physical body is here as a support in physically giving us feedback in terms of our relationship with ourselves and that it’s not about rewarding or punishing or even judging yourself as good or bad – but simply to be able to see where you are at and what points require attention/alignment within self.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that physical illness merely reflects mental illness – indicating that I am in some way participating in an ILLusion that is preventing me from living life in equality and oneness, and thus, that there exists a point where I am kidding myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the “I’m a healthy person” Character – trying to show off how I am paying attention to what I eat and how I treat my physical body so that others may think/perceive/believe me to be a good person.

This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
Day 34: Make a Happy Family 
Day 35:Don't Act like Lady Gaga - Act like a Real Lady!
Day 36: Join JESUS on The CROSS -What?! WHY?!?

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I have connected the word 'good' to:

Leading a Successful Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as being successful in life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define goodness within success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my success within and as being successful in love, friendship, career and studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that in order to be a good person I have to meet certain criteria and that these criteria include: finding good boyfriends/a good husband, having many good friends, having a career in which I make a lot of money and having good grades in school, passing everything from the first time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define goodness in terms of achievement , and specifically, that I have to be able to show great achievements in terms of relationships, friendships, a career and studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I ‘have something to show for myself’ in terms of relationships, friendships, career and studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined my value-system in relation to what I saw other people in my environment value – thereby copying their beliefs in terms of what is apparently important in life – such as relationships, friendships, a career and studies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define life itself in terms of establishing and developing relationships, friendships, a career and good grades.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value myself in terms of how the system values a person – in terms of the extent in which one integrates into the system and into their own mind consciousness system , in creating one’s life/environment in such a way that one is ‘trapped’ into their mind consciousness system with minimal opportunity for self-realisation.

This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
Day 34: Make a Happy Family 
Day 35:Don't Act like Lady Gaga - Act like a Real Lady!

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I have connected the word 'good' to:

Self-Sacrifice

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as sacrificing oneself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I sacrifice myself for others, that it means that I am a good person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I must be like Jesus and sacrifice myself so that others don’t have to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply accept the idea that people who sacrifice themselves so others don’t have to suffer are noble heroes that should be applauded for their goodness and selflessness.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise and understand that self-sacrifice is just another form of self-sabotage and doesn’t really bring any actual solutions.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that in sacrificing myself so others don’t have to suffer, I am allowing myself to carry other people’s burdens – burdens that they have created themselves and are for them to face – where I will then carry everyone else’s burden so that others may be relieved within the idea and belief that: “It is better that just one person suffers a lot than that many people suffer a little.”

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realise that playing the self-sacrifice character is just another way to get into someone’s good graces – thinking that: “if I do this for that person, that person will like me – or at least feel grateful or guilty and feel like he/she has to now repay me by doing me a favour or by being my friend.”

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realise that self-sacrifice is actually done from the starting point of self-interest – so that other people will see me as ‘good’ and then, I can feel good about myself – and/or, so that it is easier to get people to do things for me, because good people deserve to get what they want – and more.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realise that the self-sacrifice character is one of the most manipulative and disgraceful characters of all – because in apparently being absolutely innocent and selfless – the reasoning behind self-sacrificing acts is always within self-interest and never has anything to do with actually assisting other beings.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that in doing things for someone else, I am not actually assisting or supporting them in any way whatsoever – I am doing them a disservice, because if they had done the point/walked the point for themselves, they might have realised something or expanded themselves in some way – and thus, in sacrificing myself I am actually only taking opportunities away from others for self-growth, self-honesty and self-correction – just so I can feel good about myself – supporting their resistance instead of who they are as life as who they are able and capable of being.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that in sacrificing myself I am actually only supporting another’s self-limitation – and thus, accepting that self-limitation within myself as well.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to say ‘no’ when the point of self-sacrifice comes up because I fear that it is a bad thing not to want to sacrifice myself for others – and that, Jesus did it, therefore I shouldn’t have a problem with it either.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to say ‘no’ when the point of self-sacrifice comes up, because I don’t want others do dislike me for not having taken their burdens.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy people’s friendships with ‘apparent acts of kindness’ – and believe it to be normal and okay.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that every single friendship has always been based within manipulation of getting another person to like me vice versa.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within trying to get to know a person – think that I have to be friends with them, and thus, that they have to ‘approve’ me as their friend – and therefore, try to ‘score points’ with them in who/how I am towards them so that they will like me and approve me as a member of their friendsclub – instead of just being here and spending time with the person without assuming I need their permission to be in their presence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that I cannot just be with people, but that they must give me some kind of permission for me to be around them/speak with them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always place myself in an inferior position to someone that seems interesting/someone I think I might enjoy spending time with – and therefore, wait to be ‘invited’ into their space, instead of realising and accepting myself as equal as this person and simply being here and sharing my hereness with this other person.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always wait for permission to speak when I am among ‘strangers’ or people I don’t know well – because I feel like my presence might be unwanted and therefore, I rather just sit in the background, unnoticed, while still being able to hear everything that’s being said, than say something that is not ‘well-received’ and then people realising I am there and thinking they’d prefer I wasn’t.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realise that self-sacrifice is basically self-compromise, where I will compromise myself to make another feel better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self-compromise to exist within and as me – instead of seeing and realising that self-compromise is never a solution to anything and therefore, unacceptable as it creates unnecessary harm.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself in the name of friendships – because I thought and believed that without friends I was nobody in any case – therefore, sacrificing myself for friends makes sense – because friends will make me ‘count’, will make me ‘be someone’, will validate me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realise that if I sacrifice myself, there is nothing left to be validated in the first place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from others and from validation, by looking for validation within others and defining validation in separation for myself as ‘something others must give me’ – instead of simply validating myself as being here – I am here – therefore, I exist, therefore I don’t need anyone else to ‘make me into someone’.

This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
Day 34: Make a Happy Family
- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.


In my mind, I associate the word 'Good' with: 
 

Being Polite

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as ‘being polite’ and ‘acting like a lady’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that being polite makes one a good/better person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition myself into believing that being polite is good in response to my parents becoming angry, embarrassed, ashamed whenever I acted/behaved in a way that was judged as impolite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try my best to ‘act like a lady’ because other grown-ups would pick up on ‘my good manners’ and compliment my parents for it and then they would be proud of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition/compose my body in taking on the physical mannerisms and attitudes that are seen as polite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that polite and impolite actually exist.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that impolite is a word created from the fear of being rejected and polite a word created from the desire to be accepted and that they don’t really mean anything other than that.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to kid myself into believing that I would change as a being and actually ‘become better’ if I just acted as a different character.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to practice to become the politeness character in order to gain positive responses and thus positive feelings and energy within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ingrain the politeness character into my physical, and thus – to actually, physically become it as I programmed my cells to be different to as convincingly as possible pretend to be someone I am not.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that politeness has nothing to do with who I am, because it is something that I forced unto myself in order to fit in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a polite girl.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to act in a natural, comfortable way, out of fear of people judging me as impolite and judging me and from there, rejecting me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up my natural, comfortable self-expression to trade it with a physical character of politeness – entirely and completely restricting and suppressing who I am/my self-expression – betraying myself for the acceptance of others, without realising that I never needed/required another’s acceptance, but only required to accept myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my parents for my self-constriction, self-limitation and self-suppression through teaching me to be polite – when it was me who accepted the instructions and willingly, motivatedly took it upon myself to become as polite as I could.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that especially girls should be polite and ‘lady-like’ – that for boys it is still acceptable if they speak/act in a loose and comfortable way, but that it is really inappropriate for a girl to ‘let go’ of her pose and composition.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just swallow everything grown-ups told me about who to be and how to be, without looking at the points for myself in common sense – too blinded and consumed by the desire to be good, to be right, to be accepted, to be praised.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that woman should never be allowed to be comfortable and natural in their expression and their physical holding of themselves – because if they do, they are unattractive and no-one will want to marry them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that no-one would want to be with me/marry me if I didn’t apply and live the rules of politeness because my parents and other grown-ups would often say that if I continued to act like that, no guy would ever find me attractive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live my present in service of my future in trying to fulfill the picture I had in my mind of me getting married – and thus, tried to do everything I could to ensure this picture from becoming reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sit with my legs crossed to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sit with a straight back to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to eat with my mouth closed to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to eat without my elbows leaning on the table to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to smile as much as possible to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to nod my head and agree with people to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not hold my head up with my hands when sitting, to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to drag my feet in order to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to lean on things, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tuck my shirt in my pants to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to comb my hair to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to apologise before speaking in a group discussion to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to apologise to people when bumping into them to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to help someone when they drop something by helping them pick it back up, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up my seat for an old person or pregnant woman on a bus, tram, metro or train, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘speak in two words’ – by always saying ‘yes, sir’ or ‘yes, mam’ instead of just ‘yes’ – in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look people in the eye when they speak to me, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to employ the socially accepted ways of greeting, thanking, excusing and saying goodbye, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to greet people that my parents or siblings know when I cross them on the street, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to exhale/say ‘aaaaaah’ after drinking, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to slurp in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take small bites and eat slowly, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to monitor my food-intake and eat less than normal when in company of others, in order to be good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise how much of what I thought was ‘who I am’ was merely a self-manufactured character of politeness that I used to not have people become offended with me, and thus, reject me and make me feel bad about their experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally when other people are offended with my behaviour.

This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil 
- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.


In my mind, I associate the word 'Good' with:
 

Being in love, being married and having children

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within being in love, being married and having children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as living a regular life without asking questions, but just do as everyone else does.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have a boyfriend so that I could be normal and like everyone else, because I thought that being in love like normal people is necessary to be a good person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look forward to being a married woman and having a family, because I felt out of place within myself and thought that if I did what everyone else did, then maybe I would figure out what to do and how to be and who to be – that everything would fall into its right place.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look for answers to my experiences within, outside of myself – believing that other people, a husband and children, would be able to fix me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to do what is expected of me, that I would be a good person if I just fall in love, get married and have children just like everyone else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that doing good means to not step on anyone’s toes by going against the norm and therefore, to ‘go with the flow’ and just do whatever it is everyone else is doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that you can’t be a successful woman unless you found a man who wants to marry you and have children with you.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that you can’t be a good woman unless you find a man who wants to marry you and have children with you.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that you can’t be a good woman unless you reproduce yourself and do unto your children what was done unto you – keeping the legacy of the family-line/blood-line alive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that honouring the family-line is a duty and responsibility and has important value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that as part of a family, it is my duty to continue that family – where, if I were to decide to not have children, I would not only affect my own life, but the family in itself, because I would create a ‘dead-end’ in the family tree and increase the chances that the family line will end.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to make my parents/aunts/uncles/grandparents proud by continuing the family line.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define family and being part of a family as ‘good’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being married/ not having children out of fear that my family will turn on me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I ‘owe’ my family children so that the family-line may continue – because they ‘took care’ of me while growing up.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise to what extent family is a cult – where you are brainwashed from a young age to want to get married and have children, just to continue the family-line – as though it is something valuable and worth doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not living up to my family’s expectations if I weren’t to have children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I would ‘let my family down’ if I didn’t have children.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as though the decision of having children or not is not mine to make, because it apparently concerns the whole family – instead of realising that the concept of family is not real in the first place, it is not something that can be touched, that is physical – it is just a made-up concept of relationships that tie people together in a system of control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to have children to please my family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a woman who dedicates her life to her husband and children is someone who has her priorities straightened out, because of the belief that there is nothing more important than family.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept, believe and live the statement: There is nothing more important than family.

This blog is a continuation of: Day 30: Goodness as Positivity, Day 31: You're My HERO!!! and Day 32: Consistency - continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I associate the word 'Good' with: 

Having High Grades in School

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within having high grades in school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I score high grades in school, that I actually am a better person.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to accept my common sense as a child when I saw that it can’t make me special or different that I have high scores, because I just simply understood everything and, thus, I didn’t do anything different or better than other kids per say – the only difference is that I just happened to understand the information as it was presented to me and others didn’t – yet, instead allowed myself to feel good and better aboutmyself when my parents and brother were amazed with my grades to the point of being in tears when seeing my school report.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am in relation to grades – entirely taking grades personally, where I believed that grades represent me, instead of realising that they merely represented how much of the information was effectively integrated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a character of being a star pupil because in playing this card/playing out this character, I was always ensured to get a lot of praise and attention, which in those moments would make me feel good about myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my ability to understand with ease to get attention, praise and positive energy from those who don’t have the same ability – when obviously, I didn’t do anything to have this ability, I was born with it, and thus it doesn’t make any sense for someone with certain ‘born-with’ skills or abilities to be praised for those skills or abilities – because it doesn’t have anything to do with the being – it was determined through DNA.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself believe that Ireally do deserve to be praised and admired for having high grades, believing that my ability in understanding and processing information is something I brought about, instead of realising that I had nothing to do with it and that I am thus no more or less than anyone else in this respect, as we were all equally dealt cards by someone/something else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the star pupil character in order to hide the aspects of/in myself that I was not proud of – because in playing the star pupil, I would be praised and be given a sense of pride, to suppress my inner experiences of shame, guilt and regret.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, whenever I am faced with a being that I see as authoritative, enter into the ‘star pupil character’, trying to convince them that I always do everything right, out of fear that they will punish me/lash out on me if they see that I really don’t.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition myself into wanting to have high grades, because with high grades comes reward and with low grades comes punishment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have extreme fear of being punished as a child as I saw that teachers/parents really looked at children they punished with eyes that said: “You’re a bad child!!!”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel utterly ashamed within myself the first time I got punished by a teacher for spilling salt – because I thought it meant that I was a bad child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself in relation to punishment and reward, and thus, in essence, according to how others judgeme in relation to what I do/say or how I perform.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be seen as a bad child and to fear to be a bad child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be seen as a bad person and fear to be a bad person.

 This blog is a continuation of: Day 30: Goodness as Positivity and Day 31: You're My HERO!!! - continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I associate the word 'Good' with: 

Being consistent within fulfilling responsibilities

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ in separation of myself within and as being consistent within fulfilling responsibilities and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to define the word ‘bad’ in separation of myself within and as not being consistent within fulfilling responsibilities.

Iforgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word ‘good’ through defining it within and as something separate from me, as being consistent within fulfilling responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined the word ‘good’ in relation to virtues that are encouraged by others as learned in school and at work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach a positive charge to being consistent within fulfilling responsibilities, as though a being who is consistent within fulfilling responsibilities is a better person than someone who doesn’t.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be convinced that someone who is not consistent within fulfilling responsibilities really is worse and worth less as a being than someone is consistent within fulfilling responsibilities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a being who is consistent within fulfilling responsibilities as a ‘good person’ and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a being who is not consistent within fulfilling responsibilities as a ‘bad person’.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that in recognizing that someone who isn’t consistent within fulfilling their responsibilities is not a bad person doesn’t mean that it is a good person and doesn’t mean that being inconsistent is practical and preferred within the process of getting things done.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that being consistent within applying oneself to perform all the necessary tasks, duties, etc. or not has to do with where a being is within their process and doesn’t definitively determine the essence of a being as being ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that within defining ‘good’ within and as being consistent within fulfilling tasks, duties and responsibilities, one is supporting the idea and perception that those who are consistent at the moment within their process are better beings than those who are not yet at this stage within their process, in effect supporting and manifesting separation within supporting and feeding the construct of polarity of superiority vs. inferiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being consistent out of fear of being judged/judging myself as not being good, but as being bad – where I then feel bad about myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach anxiety and fear to the word ‘good’ through connecting anxiety and fear to being inconsistent within my application – and thus, attempt to be consistent from a starting point of anxiety and fear.

This blog is a continuation of: Day 30: Goodness as Positivity - continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I associate the word 'Good' with: 

Rescuing other beings from conditions of abuse

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ in separation of myself within the act of rescuing other beings from conditions of abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word ‘good’ through defining the word within and as something separate from me as the act of rescuing other beings from abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as being a hero that selflessly saves other beings from harm.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that to be a hero that apparently selflessly saves other beings from harm has nothing to do with being good, but has everything to do with wanting to feel good through others judging you as good.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that it is impossible to save other beings from harm as each one is self-responsible for their existence.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise and accept that it is impossible to save or rescue another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as selfless acts, wherein ‘selfless’ is to be understood as regardless of the risk that harm may be done unto self – and not referring to one’s starting point – since in doing these apparent ‘selfless’ acts where one is willing to place oneself in harm’s way to prevent another from being hurt, the starting point is still selfish/of self-interest as the desire to be seen as a hero/a good person, to , through the eyes of others, define and validate oneself as being a good person and thus – with the intended outcome of feeling good about oneself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as being a savior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as being a ‘hero’.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that any kind of ‘virtue’ or ‘characteristic’ of a being can never have anything to do with what the person does or what it looks like a person does/is from the outside – but always refers to who a being really is, which is seen within and as the starting-point of a being’s actions or non-actions.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the idea and perception of being able to save/rescue someone implies the possibility of the savior/rescuer being superior to the one being saved/rescued – instead of accepting and allowing myself to realise and embrace that all beings are equal and thus, no one can be saved or rescued by another, each must save/rescue themselves.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that defining the word ‘good’ within and as the act of rescuing/saving another from harm/abuse implies polarity where some are and have more than others – and thus, in effect, the word ‘good’ manifests and supports situations of abuse and harm rather than preventing or stopping them.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise the consequences of words and how I define words within how my living of this definition as the word manifests not only my superficial perception of the word but also all the implications of what I define and perceive the word to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be careless within words and my definition and understanding of words, not realising that within my very understanding and definition of a word, I am responsible for creating, manifesting and supporting systems and situations of abuse and harm.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realise and understand how we create through words.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be willing to see, realise and understand how we create through words because of not wanting to take responsibility for my words, within the idea/belief/excuse/justification that it just takes too much time to purify one’s vocabulary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge and define a being who performs apparent ‘selfless’ acts through attempting to save/rescue others from harm, as being a ‘good person’ – and within that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, within judging/defining/perceiving a being who performs apparent ‘selfless’ acts through attempting to save/rescue others from harm as a ‘good person’, validate the definition of ‘good’ as the act of saving/rescuing another from harm so that – when I perform an apparent ‘selfless’ act through attempting to save/rescue another from harm, others will in turn judge/define/perceive me as a ‘good person’ so that I may feel good about myself.

In the picture above I have laid out how I have been living the word 'good' as how I have defined the word within and through my Mind. In the following blog-posts I will be deconstructing the word 'Good' as how I had defined it with self-forgiveness, to then redefine it in alignment to Oneness and Equality.

Part 1: Self-Forgiveness on Positive Charge attached to the word ‘Good’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a positive energetic charge to the word ‘good’ within and as myself and my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as a positive energetic feeling of mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the essence of the meaning of the word ‘Good’ lies within/can be found within the positiveenergetic feeling of mind that I had attached to the word ‘Good’ – instead of realising that it is I who has attached a positive energetic feeling to the word ‘good’ myself and thus that this feeling/charge cannot bear meaning on the word itself as the word was here before I attached this charge to it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as though I am committing sacrilege by removing the positive charge from the word ‘good’ – believing that the connection between the word and the feeling has to be and is supposed to be and that there will be unpleasant consequences if I try to make such a change in my vocabulary – as though it is a crime punishable by God.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define positive feeling energy as a feeling endowed by God himself where if I remove this energy, I am defying God and therefore, fear that God will punish me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as a religious construct of mind, in relation to the word and concept of a ‘God’ that is almighty and is the final judge in terms of goodness and badness and has as such the power and right to, within judgment, condemn one to heaven or hell.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear God and to fear that God will judge me as bad and herein condemn me to hell as eternal suffering, disgrace and dishonour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that in order to be honourable I must honour the word of God.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a ‘God’ to exist within and as me that has more power than me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that there is no God existing within and as me and that the only one judging me is myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the only director and creator of my world is me and not some separate entity that exists as an idea in the minds of men as an all-powerful being that controls, directs and creates the world in its entirety where we are but pawns in his big plan.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in terms of ‘goodness’ and ‘badness’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be judged/judge myself as ‘good’ and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be judged/judge myself as ‘bad’.

To be continued...