We grow up in this world as children expecting nothing but fun - and then we grow up and we see that things are tough and people are often nasty. We learn about how we have to earn money to get by and we learn about how there are people who don't have money to survive. We learn about deception, about manipulation and about abuse. Now - we can either try to live our own lives and try to be as happy as we can be on an individual level - or we can look at why the world is the way it is and how we can fix it. As far as I'm concerned, I only have this one life - I may have more, but I can't verify such claims. So - I work with what I know: I have one lifetime. And in a life, we actually have quite a lot of time - and if I dedicate this time towards investigating the problems in the world and finding solutions that would work for everyone - as well as taking the staps to actually implement those solutions - then that is a life worth living. If all would do this, the world would be sorted out in no time. But instead - I've found that people prefer to just try to make their own life work and try to find some happiness and fulfillment on a personal level. I mean - that's what I was doing, that's what everyone I've ever met was/is doing. But to me that is not acceptable, because that means that when I bring a child into the world, it will expect a life of fun, but instead, I will present it with the same disappointments and horrors that I was faced with growing up: that this world is a mess and that no-one has really done any attempt to change it in any susbtantial way.
As I said, I don't have experience with OBE and things like that - but I had a different 'mission' or passion in my life - which was dancing. It was my one point of 'light' and 'comfort' because when I was dancing, I did not think about everything else in my life - it was just me, my body, other people's bodies, the music, the rythm, the flow - it was like perfect harmony and like in that moment nothing else existed but this perfect harmony. And I was great in school - I skipped a grade because I was considered 'above average' in intelligence, but I wasn't interested in studying - I wanted to dedicate my life to dancing on a professional level, because that was what made me happy.
Then I came across Desteni and I was faced with the same question you're faced with now: which was - why do you do it? Do you do it from a starting point of self-interest or because it will bring about solutions that work for everyone? And to test the answer for myself I did the following: I imagined my life without dancing. Immediately, I felt sooo sad, desperate and depressed. And that's how I knew that the reason I danced was to hide from how I really feel - to try to be happy on an individual level. It was not because it was going to help anyone - although, I could probably make up reasons and justifications of how dancing can help people. That was not the point - the point is not whether it could help people, the point was that this was not the reason why I was doing it. I was doing it to feel something positive, to feel special, to feel good about myself. But those experiences were not real or valid, because they didn't last - they only lasted for as long as I was dancing. I wasn't a ball of light, I wasn't special and I wasn't in any way better or a virtuous person. I just felt that way.
So - when I realised what I've just explained - I made a decision to give up dancing for this life - to stop trying to dedicate my life to dancing. Because I realised that dancing was not going to change me - it was just going to change the way I feel for a moment. And if I would continue participating in my blissful state of dancing, it would stand in my way of really facing who I am and what I really experience - and it would stand in my way of seeing the problems in the world and how they need to be sorted out. No-one wants to feel shitty, but we all do on some level. And from one perspective, we all have to sort out our internal world, but from another, we have to sort out the external conditions that support inner conflict and inner confusion as well. So - I decided that with this lifetime - I had a decision to make - and I decided to dedicate the time I have in this life towards finding real solutions instead of personal happiness and gratification.
And this is the decision each of you basically have to make - not that we're demanding it or because we're popping the question - it's a decision you make whether you're aware of it or not - now we're just placing the question in your awareness so you can make a more informed decision. Unless we realise that we're all in the same boat - whether we're an OBE'r a dancer, a drug addict, a criminal or, a desperate housewife, or a disillusioned child - we're only ever going to be chasing happiness through personal experiences - but it will never be real and it will never last and it will never create the world we actually would like to live in.
And - it is not about joining Desteni or agreeing with 'us'. This is about who you want to be and what you'll say when you die when you ask yourself the question: What did I actually do with my Life?