Maite's Journey to Life

This blog is a continuation of:

Day 42: Jesus Died for Your Sins
Day 43: A Picture I used to Draw
- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I connect the word 'good to:

Being considerate of others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to and define the word ‘good’ within and as being considerate of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard being considerate of others as a duty/obligation/condition for gaining goodness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regard ‘kind deeds’ and ‘acts of consideration’ as currency for purchasing better karma.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that real consideration comes from the realisation and living of equality – where one simply treats another the way one would like to be treated – and this is what the practical living application of consideration is.

Living up to Expectations

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to and define the word ‘good’ within and as living up to expectations of others and myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that others’ expectations of me are always founded within them wanting to become the best version of myself – and therefore, that I should strive to live up to their expectations in order to become this best version of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that every time I live up to an expectation of someone, that it is a confirmation/indication that I am on the right path to excellence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define excellence within others’ expectations of me, instead of finding out what excellence means for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, over-time, internalise others’ expectations of me into myself, where I start believing that what I expect of myself is really best for me, when actually, I just pursue it, because living up to those expectations of others has provided me with good/positive reactions and energy from them – and thus made me feel good about myself – and thus, I’ve copied the same expectations for myself so that every time I live up to one, I can trigger a happy/proud/excited feeling within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define goodness within the feelings of happiness, pride and excitement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define goodness within and as the feeling of righteousness as being on the right path and doing the right thing.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that, just as with ‘good’, ‘right’ is part of a polarity of right and wrong – and therefore, there is no such thing as ‘right’ as it currently only exists in a polarity relationship, where everything that is seen/done/regarded as ‘right’ will equally manifest/create something that is seen/done/regarded as ‘wrong.

Learn more »

This blog is a continuation of:

Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil
Day 34: Make a Happy Family
Day 35:Don't Act like Lady Gaga - Act like a Real Lady!
Day 36: Join JESUS on The CROSS -What?! WHY?!? Day 37: The Secret to a Successful Life!
Day 37: Be Good, Little Human
Day 38: Richness, Compliments and Validation

Day 40: The Parable of the Talents

Day 41: God Collects his Debt

Day 42: Jesus Died for Your Sins

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I connect the word 'good' to:

A picture of willow, lake, swan that I was ‘good’ at drawing

As a child I would always draw the same picture of a swan in a lake, with reeds around it, a willow above it, a sun, clouds and birds in the sky. It was a picture I thought I was good at and I was always content with myself after drawing it. Looking at it now, I kept drawing the same picture, because it was a ‘safe’ picture to draw – because I already knew it would turn out good and I would be happy with myself. I knew exactly how I would draw it, even in what order; it would always be the same order. So – it was a matter of feeling safe in knowing what was going to happen, what was going to come next and knowing what the exact result would be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to and define the word ‘good’ within and as a picture of a swan, a willow, a lake with reeds around it, clouds, a sun and birds in the sky as a picture that I would keep on drawing as a child, of which I thought that I was ‘good’ at it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to and define the word ‘good’ within and as having skills and using skills towards completing a certain task or project of which people afterwards say that it was a ‘good job’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to and define the word ‘good’ within and as the memory of myself as a child drawing a picture of first a swan, then a lake, then the reed, then the willow, then the sun, then the clouds and then the birds in the sky and the memory of feeling proud of myself and feeling good about myself afterwards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to and define the word ‘good’ within and as feeling safe within knowing what’s to come and knowing that the result will be okay and that I will be okay with myself in seeing the result.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the unknown. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the unknown to fear and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress fear through ‘goodness’ and ‘good feelings’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as being in control or feeling in control through knowing what will come next.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always play safe out of fear of failure, out of fear of negativity, out of fear of emotions, out of fear of more fear, out of fear of punishment, out of fear of anger, out of fear of pain, out of fear of disappointment, out of fear of shame, out of fear of guilt, out of fear of embarrassment, out of fear of regret. Learn more »

This blog is a continuation of:

Day 40: The Parable of the Talents

Day 41: God Collects his Debt

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I connect the word 'good' to:

Picture of Jesus on the Cross with a warm yellow light shining behind it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as a picture of jesus on the cross, with a crown of thorns on his head and a yellow shining light behind his head.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to a picture of jesus on the cross with a crown of thorns on his head, only wearing a little robe around his waist, with a yellow shining light behind his head and a sad expression on his face.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to torture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within torture.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to fear of pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ with fear of pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ within and as pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to and define the word ‘good’ within and as fear of acting bad out of fear of feeling guilty of jesus dying on the cross for my sins.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word ‘good’ to and define the word ‘good’ within and as fear of feeling guilty.

Learn more »

Day 40: The Parable of the Talents

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if something is given to me for safekeeping, that I must then use it as though it is my own, even if it means risking that something and not being able to give it back as had been previously agreed – because of how the story of the parable of the talents goes that I was taught about in school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the word of God and give more weight to words that are apparently words from God – as though they must by default be more true than anything else I had ever considered – and within this, override my own common sense with moral brainwashing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trade my common sense for what some type of authority person has to say without a moment of thought, without hesitation, without consideration.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear spending money out offear of losing it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to invest money and magically multiply it, as though this wouldn’t have any consequences.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as the parable of the talents, defining what is ‘good’ and what is ‘bad’ according to a story of morality where some are judged to have acted in a good way and others are judged to have acted in a bad way.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to read words for what they are, but immediately believe a person when they say I should interpret the words in a different way, and within that – no longer see the words for what they are, and no longer see what the words imply and how they influence/program me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the bible is just a programming machine that teaches humans to accept the currenteconomic system without question – as this story is the perfect example of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as going to develop all your talents.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it’s not fair that ‘good’ means you have to develop all your talents – because mostly, whatever I tried out, I was good at and I was angry with God that he wanted me to become as good as I could be in all of those talents – where I ended up continuously being in classes – both in school and extra-curricular, to develop all my talents to the fullest, while feeling that I had no choice but to be there, even if I was no longer interested – because I had a duty to develop my talents in order to be good – even if those talents have no practical value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I had a duty towards God to develop all the talents he had ‘bestowed’ on me, to make sure that when I meet my maker – I am able to show that I have developed my talents and ‘multiplied’ them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always accept statements from others saying that I must continue doing what I’m good at – and therefore always following ‘my talents’ without stopping to consider if I actually enjoy what I spend all this time developing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I had a duty towards my parents to develop the talents that they had given me – as I was born from them, therefore I believed they had given me those skills – and therefore, I believed it was my duty to make them proud in becoming the most skilled version of myself, so that they have something to show for themselves: “look what I created”.

Learn more »

This blog is a continuation of:
Day 30: Goodness as Positivity,
Day 31: You're My HERO!!!
Day 32: Consistency and
Day 33: Wanting to be the Star Pupil
Day 34: Make a Happy Family
Day 35:Don't Act like Lady Gaga - Act like a Real Lady!
Day 36: Join JESUS on The CROSS -What?! WHY?!? Day 37: The Secret to a Successful Life!
Day 37: Be Good, Little Human
Day 38: Richness, Compliments and Validation

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I have connected the word 'good' to:

The Parable of the Talents

Before applying self-forgiveness on this point, I would like to expand on it.

With the parable of the talents I’m referring to the Christian parable that I was taught about in school when I was 12. Here it is:

13 “Therefore stay alert, because you do not know the day or the hour. 14 For it is like a man going on a journey, who summoned his slaves and entrusted his property to them. 15 To one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The one who had received five talents went off right away and put his money to work270 and gained five more. 17 In the same way, the one who had two gained two more. 18 But the one who had received one talent went out and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money in it. 19 After a long time, the master of those slaves came and settled his accounts with them. 20 The one who had received the five talents came and brought five more, saying, ‘Sir, you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’ 21 His master answered, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave! You have been faithful in a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 22 The one with the two talents also came and said, ‘Sir, you entrusted two talents to me. See, I have gained two more.’ 23 His master answered, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave! You have been faithful with a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.’ 24 Then the one who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Sir, I knew that you were a hard man, harvesting where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed, 25 so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.’ 26 But his master answered, ‘Evil and lazy slave! So you knew that I harvest where I didn’t sow and gather where I didn’t scatter? 27 Then you should have deposited my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received my money back with interest! 28 Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten. 29 For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30 And throw that worthless slave into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’” (Matthew 25:13-30). 271

Source: http://bible.org/seriespage/parable-talents-matthew-2514-30-luke-1912-28

I remember being very confused about the outcome of the story. Because as I heard that the first two slaves were going to invest money that wasn’t theirs, I was like ‘wow, don’t do that – it’s not yours to spend’. And I thought ‘well, yeah – dig it in the ground, then you’re sure you won’t be tempted to spend it’. And then, afterwards, the lord apparently was proud of the servants who had invested his money and multiplied it and was pissed off with the one that had done what it had asked: safeguarded the money and given it back.

Then the teacher went on explaining that even though ‘talents’ was a currency in that time, that the story was a parable about talents in terms of skills – that you can’t burry your talents into the ground but that you have to go and develop them. But reading the story again now – there is really no metaphor going on here – this story is just about money and how to treat another’s money. And, it’s interesting, because I’ve been writing about the banking system in the Economist’s Journey to Life blogs recently and discussing how banks use money that isn’t theirs to make more money out of it, just like in this story – lol. So – that is what is being justified here by God: the entire banking and capitalistic system.

Check out specifically this statement:

“For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.”

That is exactly what we’re doing within the current capitalistic system and this one seemingly morally important story, which they teach children about in school – is the divine justification for it. God teaches children: take from those who don’t have anything and give it to those who have plenty. People – that’s how the world works. What do you think the relationship is between the developed and the developing countries in the world? Exactly this: Resources are taken from those who don’t have and mostly live in poverty and are given to those who are already living comfortable lives.

No wonder this story never ‘sat right’ with me!

To be continued. Learn more »

Day 37: The Secret to a Successful Life!

- continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I have connected the word 'good' to:

Christianity – Jesus – God – Heaven

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define ‘good’ within and as everything that is portrayed as ‘positive’ and ‘good’ within Christianity – such as Jesus, God and Heaven.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the answer to leading a proper life can be found within Christianity or religion in general – where I take in the words of others teaching about what it means to live a proper life and just accept it as truth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to go looking for answers in a ‘great book’ that apparently has the knowledge of ‘good and evil’ and from where I can learn what it means to live in a way that is appropriate – instead of just using my own common sense and testing the points out for myself.

Being healthy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ and ‘being good’ within and as being healthy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a person who is not healthy is a bad person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge people, including myself, based on a person’s health.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a good person as a person who is in perfect health; who is slim, who has nice skin, who has perfect hair, who looks radiant.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that a person who has bad health has bad karma and that this person is suffering because he/she has done something wrong or bad in their life and therefore deserves to have health problems.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, when I see someone who doesn’t meet the general ‘health standards’ think ‘ai, ai, ai – that person must have really fucked up to turn out so bad’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in karma and give the concept of karma value without ever investigating what karma is and whether it is something that really supports a being or not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I’m a good person, God will reward me with good health – and thus, that if I’m ill or having health issues, that God is punishing me for being a bad person/having done something wrong.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself that the human physical body is here as a support in physically giving us feedback in terms of our relationship with ourselves and that it’s not about rewarding or punishing or even judging yourself as good or bad – but simply to be able to see where you are at and what points require attention/alignment within self.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that physical illness merely reflects mental illness – indicating that I am in some way participating in an ILLusion that is preventing me from living life in equality and oneness, and thus, that there exists a point where I am kidding myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the “I’m a healthy person” Character – trying to show off how I am paying attention to what I eat and how I treat my physical body so that others may think/perceive/believe me to be a good person.

Learn more »

Maite's Journey to Life

When Cesar gets it ‘wrong’

Ownership, Investment, Expected Returns - The Capitalist in Me

Snowy - My Mountain of Support

Day 44: Consideration as Currency and Expectations as Guide to Excellence

Day 43: A Picture I used to Draw

Day 42: Jesus Died For Your Sins

Day 41: God Collects his Debt

Day 40: The Parable of the Talents

Day 39: Richness, Compliments and Validation

Day 38: Be Good, Little Human

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