Dag 114: Looking Back on the first Year of the 7 Years Journey to Life
here in this blog looking back and assessing my application in the first year.
What is the Journey to Life about? It's a process wherein those walking are taking responsibility for themselves - taking responsibility for who they are, for their inner creation. It's a process of investigating and addressing every single thought, emotion, feeling that exists in our minds - that float up and that we believe is actually us, and that we actually believe have our best interests at heart - and yet, when actually investigating the nature of these emotions, feelings, thoughts, interpretations, beliefs, perceptions, ideas - and how we created them through tracing back the memories from which we developed set behavioral patterns - we invariably find the ironic oposite: that none of what the mind presents us ever in our best interest, but actually are a sign of gross self-deception, self-limitation, self-delusion and self-sabotage.
Within and through walking this process publically - for all to see - in a series of personal blogs - the process stretches further than self-responsibility - it is a process of establishing integrity - showing that it is possible for people to have integrity and showing how it can be done. Herein, one can see through a person's writings whether you can trust the person or not.
So - after a year of the 7 Year Journey - I look back at my own application and find that I have failed myself within what this process is about. I find that I have not disciplined myself within daily writing where I take a moment every day to make time for myself in taking responsibility for who I am, what I have accepted and allowed, tracing it back to the origin-points and writing practical solutions for myself as a guide or platform from which to live the correction.
I too often accepted excuses and justifications to not move myself within this discipline-point. Herein I look back to the start of my process and how I used to vigorously write daily - and thoroughly enjoy it - it was the most exciting thing I'd ever done - whereas within this first year of the Journey to Life, I've approached it as an obligation, a task - wherein I immediately place myself in a position of resistance and 'not wanting to do it'. I've also used the part of my process wherein I was disciplined within my writing as an additional excuse that 'I've already done this, I've already proven to myself that I can do it' - but, self-honestly, if it is not a consistent point, then how can I trust that it is real - then how can I trust that it is me moving myself - if I cannot sustain the movement myself?
And it is not only about daily writing - it is about pushing myself to specify my writing - to go beyond where I am, to expand myself, to explore farther. Within this I've seen that I've become 'content' with where I am within my process - where I have shifted my priority from dedication to life to leading my own comfortable life. Having overcome major obstacles within myself I feel like 'I'm mostly done now' and that I'm wlling to 'settle' now - settle for less - I've helped myself to get to a 'better place' within myself - yet, when it comes to now expanding my skills, specificy and responsibility to be able to stand as a trustworthy, influential and powerful point within this world in order to assist and support every life form - dedication suddenly lost its appeal and I've been slacking within my process. I've been taking my environment for granted, I've taken the people around me for granted, I've taken the Desteni group of support for granted, I've taken the animals that support me for granted. From walking towards become a living expression and participant within myself, my environment, my world - I've started managing myself, my environment and my world.
In hiding behind past achievements and accomplishments, I didn't see how I started fading and retracting from my position of effectiveness.
So, herewith, I re-commit and re-dedicate myself towards life.
I re-commit and re-dedicate myself towards walking the 7 Year Journey to Nothingness effectively - in order to continue manifesting fundamental and substantial change within myself and no longer settle and compromise myself and others in taking for granted the opportunity I have here - wherein my first responsibility is to write myself to freedom.
Time to get back to humbleness, time to get back to self-honesty and not waste any more breaths.
Thank you for reading.