Day 1–Giving up Before having Started

With this blog I am starting a 7 Year Journey to Life. One blog a day for 7 years, wherein I write myself out and let go of mind-patterns through using Self-Forgiveness, as well as creating the solution through Self-Corrective Statements, wherein I prepare myself to walk the change.

The first thought that popped into my head in relation to starting the 7 Year Journey was: I’ll never keep it up, I shouldn’t be doing this, because I won’t pull it through in any case. With this one thought – I indicated that I wanted to give up before I had even started! This is a recurring pattern in my life, where I only want to take on projects or endeavours where I am pretty much nearly 100% certain that I will be successful at it. And if I doubt myself in being able to pull something off, I’ll rather not start it in order to avoid feeling like a failure.

So, here goes:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I’ll never keep up a 7 year commitment to blog each day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – before having even started – project what the outcome of this endeavour would be, and in imagining myself being inconsistent and eventually giving up – I believe that this is what will happen and therefore, instead of walking the process in the physical, I immediately give up then and there, to not give myself a chance to ‘screw up’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when I undertake a new project or endeavour, that I should be perfect at it from the start until the end – not allowing myself to process of learning from my mistakes and perfecting myself as I walk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as someone who can undertake and complete a project with great ease and to not defy that definition of myself, I will simply avoid any projects where I feel like I may possible fail.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself in terms of past memories where as a chid I would do things with great ease and everyone around me would be stunned at how easily I would complete a project or task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to how other people see me and believe that if others start seeing me differently, that then I will lose myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear others starting to see me differently if I were to stumble and struggle to complete a project or endeavour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have to live up to the standard others hold me to in order not to lose myself, my self-worth and my self-esteem.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself, my self-worth and my self-esteem in how others judge me and to what extent they see me as worthy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to fail.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see failing as a definitive point where – if I fail, it is too late, I am a failure and there is nothing I can do to redeem myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to fail in the eyes of others.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that stumbling and struggling is a part of learning a particular skill – where, as i stumble and struggle, I see where and how I can become more effective and thus, as I walk, I assist and support myself to expand, grow and excel.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to expand, grow and excel through only ever doing that which I know I’m good at.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to unconditionally undertake a new project or endeavour, but only do it in terms of what people will think of me if I pull it off and whether they will hold me in high esteem or not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in an illusionary realm where ‘who I am’ is someone who doesn’t make mistakes – instead of embracing the reality of the situation – that I am nowhere near perfect and I stumble, struggle and make mistakes in the process of learning and developing new skills.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that stumbling, struggling and making mistakes are bad things.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge stumbling, struggling and making mistakes as bad things.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself through holding unrealistic expectations of myself and if ever I may possible not answer to these expectations, sell myself short in giving up before I’ve started to not have to face any regret or shame.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to face regret or shame.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that regret is an indicator that I am wallowing in self-pity over something I have done in the past, instead of forgiving myself, learning from the mistake and practically designing a solution to not make the same mistake again.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that shame is an indicator that I have sabotaged myself in a certain point and that I therefore require to investigate what I did it, how I did it and why I did it to be able to release the point in question and script a solution for myself for if I were to find myself in the same or a similar situation again.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always want to make sure that I will be right before I do something, or that what I’ll be doing will be successfully executed and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that knowing that I will be successful is what self-trust is.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to expand self-trust to being sure that I will be here for myself no matter what and that I will learn from my mistakes and my past, assisting and supporting myself to expand, grow and excel to the point where I am certain that I am absolutely specific and effective in a particular point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make up all kinds of excuses to justify why I it is okay for me to give up before I’ve even started a project so that I can feel like I did the right thing, while all the while I can self-honestly see that I am deceiving myself – but just to ‘shut myself up’, I’ll give myself all kinds of reasons to ‘prove’ and convince myself that I am doing the right thing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself to a point of giving up by bringing up all kinds of memories from the past where I feel like I failed and where I felt hopeless and helpless as a way of convincing myself that if I take on the particular project before me – I will feel the same way and there will be nothing I can do to change myself, my experience, or my situation.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that resistance is a program that kicks in whenever I am standing in front of a transcendence point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – in giving in to the resistance – state that resistance is more than me, that my mind is more than me and that I will forever more be a slave to my mind and existence as it is – accepting that I will never and can never change or take responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that resistance is merely a program that I can push through to be able to face myself, my reality, my relationships and create a version of myself, my reality and my relationships that is actually best for all.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that in giving in to resistance and making up excuses and justifications for why I shouldn’t push through, I am actually arguing for my own self-limitation.

I realise that resistance is an indicator that shows me that I am standing in front of a transcendence point, that it is merely a program that I can push and move myself through to allow myself to expand and improve myself to a point of absolute self-equality and oneness.

I realise that there is no valid excuse or justification for selling myself short and accepting self-limitation.

I realise that mistakes, stumbles and struggles don’t mean the end of an endeavour and a definitive failure – instead, they are points along the road in the journey to life.

When and as I see myself resisting to commit to a certain project or endeavour, I stop, I breathe – I realise I am standing in front of a transcendence point and that the experience is not real but merely an automated program of the mind – therefore, I push through the resistance and unconditionally commit myself to the project or the endeavour within the starting point of giving it all I’ve got.

When and as I see myself making up excuses and justifications for why I should or shouldn’t do something – I stop, I breathe – I look at what it is that I am resisting and afraid of, I apply the forgiveness, let go of the fear and embrace the new challenge before me.

When and as I see myself projecting myself into the future, imagining that I will fail at a project or endeavour that I haven’t even started yet – I stop, I breathe – I remind myself that I am not a fortune-teller and that it is unacceptable to sell myself short. Instead – I bring myself back here and practically move myself to undertake and complete the project or endeavour to the best of my ability.