Ik Hou Van Jou = Ik Hou Mij Vast Aan Jou

In het Desteni materiaal wordt uitgelegd hoe ‘liefde’ een ‘verbinder’ is – ‘liefde’, vanuit het standpunt van het geestesbewustzijn, is datgene wat relaties creeert en vastlegt.

Dus, het is interessant, dat in het Nederlands we de uitspraak ‘ik hou van jou’ hebben om je ‘liefde’ uit te drukken. Als je in het achterhoofd houdt dat ‘liefde’ een verbinder is, dan wordt het duidelijk dat wat je eigenlijk zegt is: ‘ik hou mij vast aan jou’. Deze uitspraak toont duidelijk aan hoe ‘liefde’ niets te maken heeft met hoeveel je om iemand geeft, maar alles te maken heeft met ‘zekerheid’, ‘veiligheid’, ‘verbinding’: ik heb jou en ik laat je niet los!

Best wel eng als je’t mij vraagt.


AGREEMENTS – What did you Agree on?

When starting an agreement with someone, understand that it is important to specify what it is that your agreement consists of – meaning: the term ‘agreement’ stems from the fact that two beings are agreeing on something. So, when you enter an agreement with someone, specify, out-loud or on paper what it is that you are both agreeing on – and obviously make sure that both are clear on the points and that both agree!

To simply say ‘we are in an agreement’ without having actually explicitly agreed on anything, leaves a gaping door open to fall into relationship-patterns.

Remember that relationships are actually also agreements. Though, the agreement that exists between two beings in a relationship is a ‘silent’/’hidden’ agreement – whereby both partners agree to support each others’ dishonesties, to accept any crap of each other in the name of the relationship, to try and make each other ‘feel good’ and that if someone doesn’t ‘feel good’ in the relationship, the relationship ends, and so on and so forth.

Why do I say that if you don’t specify what you agree on when entering an agreement, you're opening a door to fall into relationship-patterns? Because we’ve never done agreements before. All we’ve ever known, all we’ve ever participated in, is relationships. This practically means that when you enter an agreement – you have no idea what’s waiting for you, you have no idea what’s going to happen, how you will be, how the other will be, what your experience within it will be, what you will discover, etc. Now, when we face a point of the ‘unknown’, what the mind does, is take information from the past and use that as a basis from which to act. And because – from the mind’s perspective – relationships are the closes thing you can find to agreements, you’ll use your experience of relationships as a guideline to act within your agreement – whether on a conscious, subconscious or unconscious level.

Therefore – when you enter an agreement, make sure that you script your own guideline to fall back on. That is what ‘the agreement’ is – it is a principle you both agree to stand by and commit yourself to – and within that, it is your guideline that you will fall back on, in moments where you experience doubts in relation to what to do, how to be, how to assist the other being, what to express, etc. So that, instead of ‘grabbing back’ to past relationship experiences to ‘tell you what to do’ – you’ll be able to assess the situation you’re in and see how you’re able to apply your agreement within this particular situation.

Now – understand that your verbal agreement is your guideline and it will assist you within sticking to the principles, instead of following past relationship-patterns. However, it is not a guarantee. I’d say: I would be surprised if anyone enters an agreement and never falls into relationship patterns. Why? Because that is one of the major points you face in agreements: your relationship-patterns – they WILL come up. They actually have to – otherwise, how are you going to face them?

Therefore, don’t try and ‘fight’ that point as in trying to prevent it from happening, having you become all ‘stiffened up’ inside because of fear of making a mistake and ‘fucking things up’ and ‘being dishonest’. You probably will at some point say: Fuck! what are we doing? We’ve manifested a relationship here, we’ve created relationship connections and definitions where we’ve defined parts of ourselves within each other and we’re playing out past relationship patterns!

When that happens – breathe – then remember your agreement, your explicit, verbal agreement and see how you’re able to apply it within this particular situation.

See – when I came at this point: I freaked. I realised I had manifested a relationship and I decided to therefore end the agreement. Because – from my perspective it was not an agreement anymore, it was a relationship – therefore it was not valid, therefore it had to end.

So – I went through the break-up/withdrawal experience and did my self-forgiveness. All this time, LJ – my agreement-partner – kept doing what he’d always do: he’d check on me, we’d talk, he gave suggestions, etc. So – after a while, once I had cleared myself of the emotional turmoil and the relationship-connection, I looked at the situation again, and I saw that – in terms of how we were participating with each other, it was the same as before I had created the whole relationship-connection. So – I then realised that I hadn’t ended the agreement, I had ended the relationship. Because – in terms of what we had agreed upon, we were both still committed to the same points and LJ had throughout this experience, applied exactly what he had agreed to do when we entered the agreement.

So – when you realise that you’ve manifested a relationship or that you’re playing out relationship-patterns – stop, breathe – don’t assume that you now have to ‘break-up’ and ‘end the agreement’. (‘End the agreement’ – interesting, I’ll get to that later.) Instead – when you see you've manifested a relationship construct – face it. Do your forgiveness, discuss everything with each other in specificity, clear yourself of the construct, apply the corrections and walk from there.

To ‘end the agreement’, in essence, is impossible. If your agreement was made from the starting point of self-honesty within both partners – then that agreement stands, no matter what. It is done. So – when you’ve for a moment ‘lost yourself’ within a point of self-dishonesty and separation – remind yourself of your initial agreement – because that is your point of self-honesty. Therefore, it is the key to ‘bringing yourself back’ to that point of self-honesty within yourself.

If you come to a point within your agreement where you end up actually splitting up and ‘ending the agreement’ – then that means that your initial, explicit agreement – from at least one of the partners – was not self-honest. If an agreement ends, it was a deception from the start.

So – that’s why I suggest that when you enter an agreement, you take a moment to verbally speak out or write out what it is that you’re agreeing on, that you make sure both parties are clear on all points and that you’re both self-honest within the starting point of entering the agreement. If those points are applied, then everything else… – well, I wouldn’t say that things get ‘easier’ – you still have to face yourself – though, within the midst of the storm, you’ll have an anchor that’ll keep you from drifting off too far.


Birds and Freedom

An animal that often symbolises freedom, is a bird. In Dutch, we have the expression 'vrij als een vogel', which means: 'as free as a bird'. The type of freedom we're referring to is 'boundlessness', 'free in expression', 'no conditioning', 'no worries' – that's what people see when they stand still for a moment as they see a bird soaring in the sky, as they imagine what it would be like to be able to fly like a bird. That's the type of 'freedom' that human beings associate to birds.

Now – in the house I live in, I've had quite a bit of experience with birds. We've had a flycatcher, two hens, one rooster, a duck and now 3 parrots living with us in our house – all of them birds, though different 'kinds' of birds. Let me share with you the following: birds are the most demanding, self-centred, arrogant and inconsiderate animals that I've had experience with so far. I'm not judging the birds here, it's simply what I've observed in their behaviours – it's literally how they act and interact with others. The entire world revolves around them. They get to do what they want and you just have to make peace with it. For instance: if a parrot wants attention and you're not giving it to him, he'll make so much noise he'll drive you crazy – until you stop what you're doing and give him attention. Our hens continuously climb on top of our furniture, although we've told them in every way possible that that's not cool because they're going to break things and can get themselves badly hurt. But it's what they want to do, so they just keep doing it. The duck cares only about herself and her cage. No-one is allowed to come near her cage – it's her cage and hers alone – it's her property: 'get off my property or I'll kill you!'

Interestingly, that is exactly how human beings currently live the word 'freedom' in their lives. Because – 'I have freedom of speech' – 'I have freedom of choice' – 'I am entitled to do as I please'. That's the type of freedom that human beings hold on to and protect as though it is their right to only consider themselves and say 'fuck you' to anyone else. That type of freedom is ridiculous, it is impossible, it is self-defeating – because you simply can't live together if everyone gets to do as they please, if everyone gets to have their free choice. Because: if one person wants to use the bathroom, then according to this definition of freedom, it's his right to do so and that's how it will be. But what if someone else also wants to use the bathroom and there is only one bathroom and both are now entitled to use the bathroom since that's what they choose to do and if both choose to not share the bathroom and both choose to not wait until the other one is finished: then you have a problem. Now there's a fight over who gets to use the bathroom – and in some way or another – the 'strongest one' will 'win'.

That's the 'freedom' we cherish so deeply – that's how stupid we are.

Anyone who looks at a bird and thinks 'wow, I wish I were that free!' – Spend some time with a bird and see what a bird is really like, see that birds are not free – at all. Birds are as limited as human beings within the definition of 'freedom' as 'I get to do as I please'. Because – have a look – within that definition of freedom: you're only considering yourself – you alone exists – that's all that matters. That's so fucking limited – that's so fucking small! And you know what – it always goes at the expense of someone else. That type of personal freedom you're defending – it always ends up with someone else being enslaved to your demands, your wishes, your whims. And have a look at this world and how human beings interact with each other: that's exactly what's playing out.

REAL freedom, that freedom that you long for when you see a bird soaring in the sky – that type of freedom doesn't exist yet. That type of freedom has yet to be created, because that type of freedom – REAL freedom – requires us to consider everyone equally. I've shown you above: without consideration for everyone equally, some will be enslaved for the 'freedom' of others.

The freedom as 'boundlessness', 'freedom in expression', 'no conditioning', 'no worries' that we associate to birds – that freedom will only exist and be experienced if all act according to what's best for all – and if all work together towards manifesting that which is best for all.

That is why I suggest:

Join Desteni 'I' Process (www.desteniiprocess.com).

Support a new Equal Money System (www.equalmoney.org).


Because within the Desteni 'I' Process, you slowly but surely learn how to consider all equal and one and how to align yourself according to what's best for all – and because an Equal Money System is required as a foundation for humanity to start living as equals whereby each one has equal power and equal responsibility. It's simple: From Desteni 'I' Process to Equal Money – to REAL freedom for all.

Or – we can just pretend to be free and live like birds do currently – trying to enforce our authority and superiority through manipulation and force. We can continue doing this until everything worth living for has been destroyed, because we simply weren't willing to consider what's best for all – until we are alone with ourselves and realise: 'fuck – what have we done?'

A REAL solution requires REAL action and REAL change.

So – which will it be?