Day 87: Grounding Myself with Common Sense
When and as I see myself justifying a certain desire based on the belief that the desire stems from 'who I am' and is an inherent part of my self-drive and self-determination - I stop, I breathe - I realise that this desire is not an inherent part of myself, but was created within certain moments to try and make sense of my experience of myself where I felt that I was not 'enough'. And thus, I commit myself to investigate the origin of the desire - in what moment it was created and what thought-process lies behind it - to from there, give myself perspective on why this desire exists within me and provide myself with the solution in terms of giving myself what I perceive I had been missing, instead of merely acting on the desire, which would've never given the desired outcome - because the desire was a distraction from the real issue, attempting to solve an inner problem with something/someone from the outside.
When and as I see myself building up impatience as anxiety in relation to my hairstyle/the length of my hair - I stop, I breathe - I realise that I am experiencing a fear in relation to losing or wasting time, where I worry that I am investing my time within the wrong 'path' as either keeping my hair short or letting my hair grow, where I think/believe/fear that I am missing out on other experiences and where I try to make sense of the experience through telling myself that what my hair is like now must be wrong or not what it's supposed to be, to eventually acton the anxiety/fear/impatience through changing my 'path' - And thus, I commit myself to stop this pattern right here in this moment as and when I see myself building up impatience as anxiety in relation to my hairstyle/the lenght of my hair, through reminding myself that I have nothing to fear as I have already experienced all kinds of different hairstyles and they did not make a difference to who I am - and thus, that the only consideration should be practicality in terms of presentability and health considerations.
When and as I see myself becoming anxious when I see that a certain 'investment' or decision is not immediately 'paying off' - I stop, I breathe - I realise that this behavioral pattern is a result of the system we currently live in where time is equated to money and where it is believed that short-term satisfaction is more important than any other considerations, and where the tendency will be to compromise our decisions/investments/commitments to yield higher short-term benefits, regardless of whether this course of action is Best for All or not - and thus, I commit myself to let go of the anxiety and to simply re-assess my decision/commitment in common sense through re-evaluating whether it is truly in the best interest of all - and if so, I reconfirm my resolve and commitment to myself within the decision/investment that I have made and I stand by it.
About the author
Maite Zamora Moreno
I started walking a process of self-honesty, self-forgiveness, writing and self-corrective action after watching videos on YouTube by Desteni in 2007. This was the first and only time that I found a self-help method to really be effective and I am standing by these principles to this day. I currently live and assist on the Desteni Farm. For more information on Desteni and this process, visit www.desteni.org.
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