(The following is a response I wrote to one of my trainees in Desteni I Process, in relation to write effective self-corrective statements.)

"I NO LONGER SEEK VALIDATION FROM THE IDEA OF FAMILY OR FRIENDS AS BEING SPECIAL

I STOP ALL IDEAS OF VALIDATION FROM FAMILY OR FRIENDS AS BEING SPECAIL

I NOW LET GO OF THE FAMILY AND FRIEND CONSEPT AS THE ENSLAVEMENT OF SELF"

The three self-corrective statements above have not been scripted effectively. They are statements that indicate that from here on out, you’ll never do this, this, this, this, this again – this is not something you can guarantee for yourself and the process of stopping the mind doesn’t work that way – where you decide in a moment never to think/feel/experience something again and then it will magically be gone.

The process of stopping the mind is done whenever something comes up that you’ve already taken responsibility for, applied SF on and you understand exactly what the thought/ emotion/ feeling/ memory ‘means’ to your mind and where it will take you if you follow it. When such a thought/ emotion/ feeling/ memory comes up – in that moment, you stop and don’t go there and don’t follow the thought/ emotion/ feeling/ memory/ experience/… through not participating in it. So – it is a process walked breath by breath, moment by moment. Your mind’s systems and constructs will slowly but surely get less and less attention and energy as you walk and apply your self-corrections and eventually they will simply stop.

In order to assist ourselves in applying the self-corrective actions of stopping our participation in the mind – we write out self-corrective statements in the form of a script to apply when you are faced with a point in the future again. Writing out self-corrective statements in the form of ‘I no longer seek validation from the idea of family or friends as being special’ is not actually assisting you in your process of stopping your mind, because they are ‘too vast’ and it is quite possible that you’ll see yourself looking for validation from family and friends again and – according to your SCS, that would mean you’ve failed, and it creates a point of self-judgment and losing trust in yourself. When, in fact, seeing yourself looking for validation from family and friends, is not a ‘problem’ in itself – if this was a pattern you’ve lived out throughout your life, it is quite likely it will repeat and come up several times during your process. The question is not whether it occurs again – the question is: When it occurs – who are you within that?

That is why we suggest to write out SCS in the form of:

“When and as I see myself looking for validation from friends and family for being special, I (self-correction).”

Why? Because such a statement will practically assist you in the event of the pattern coming up again, and such a moment is an opportunity for you to correct yourself. It is those moments, where you know where a pattern will take you – because you have already investigated it through writing and self-forgiveness – that you have real choice. Because – in having seen and understood your past, you can see your future. And if you’ve seen your future, you can change it. So – those moments, where you see yourself participating in old patterns of thoughts, emotions, feelings, etc. – those moments are the moments where you have a real choice and those are the moments where you have power – power over yourself and your future.

Therefore, since the process of stopping mind-patterns is a gradual one – where, in each moment of choice, we take our power back – it is suggested not to write statements wherein you state that you will ‘no longer’ do something or ‘now stop’ a pattern ‘for good’. Instead – understand and accept how the resurfacing of old patterns as thoughts, emotions, feelings, memories, etc. – are a doorway of opportunity. Each time you direct yourself not to participate in your old mind-patterns, you diminish the extent of the power this pattern has over you. And so you continue, breath by breath, moment by moment, until the pattern has no more power to fuel its existence and as such, stops existing.