Deze blogpost is een vervolg op:
Dag 115: Hoe Durf je Mij te Verontwaardigen?!
Dag 116: Wat is Macht?
Dag 117: Hoe Durf je Mij te Verontwaardigen?! - Zelf-Vergeving 1
Dag 118: Het is VAN MIJ!!!!!!!
Ik vergeef mijzelf dat ik mijzelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard om mijn macht te definiëren in hoeveel bezittingen ik heb.

Ik vergeef mijzelf dat ik mijzelf niet heb toegestaan en aanvaard om in te zien dat het definiëren van macht in en als bezittingen een punt is dat cultureel is ingebed in onze psyche door hoe we zijn opgegroeid met een kapitalistisch waarde-systeem waarin zij die 'betergesteld' zijn ook meer invloed hebben in het vermogen om beslissingen door te duwen.

Ik vergeef mijzelf dat ik mijzelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard om macht gelijk te stellen aan beslissingen maken en dat gelijk te stellen aan bezittingen hebben, waarbij ik mijzelf heb wijsgemaakt dat macht het vermogen is om beslissingen te maken over dingen RONDOM mij - in plaats van mij te realiseren en te aanvaarden dat werkelijke macht het vermogen is om mijzelf te bepalen, om te bepalen wie ik ben in elk moment.

Ik vergeef mijzelf dat ik mijzelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard om mijn eigenwaarde te definiëren in het gevoel van macht hebben in de zin dat ik 'veel bezittingen heb' en in en door die bezittingen het vermogen heb om beslissingen te maken/door te duwen over dingen in mijn omgeving - en dus, ik vergeef mijzelf dat ik mijzelf niet heb toegestaan en aanvaard om in te zien dat het ook maar logisch is dat ik mij verontwaardigd zal voelen elke keer ik het gevoel heb dat mijn 'macht' onder schijnbare bedreiging komt te staan - want als ik macht bepaal in en afhankelijk maak van bezittingen buiten mijzelf, dan moet ik ook aanvaarden dat ik mijn macht en dus mijn eigenwaarde sta te verliezen - en dat als ik mijn macht en eigenwaarde niet wil verliezen, dan gaat het erom mijn eigenwaarde en macht te aanvaarden als mijzelf - want ikzelf ben het enige dat ik nooit kan verliezen.

Ik vergeef mijzelf dat ik mijzelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard om mijn mijzelf af te splitsen van eigenwaarde en macht door het te definiëren in bezittingen buiten mijzelf.

Ik vergeef mijzelf dat ik mijzelf heb toegestaan en aanvaard om zo geobsedeerd te zijn met mijn valse ervaring van macht en eigenwaarde dat ik mijzelf niet de kans heb gegeven om ware macht en ware eigenwaarde te ontwikkelen door hier te zijn en mijzelf te gronden in en als mijn adem, waarbij ik in elk moment gewaar ben van wie ik ben en wat er zich in mij omspeelt als de reacties, gedachte, herinneringen, prenten die in mijn hoofd opkomen en hier meteen verantwoordelijkheid voor te nemen en mijzelf erin richting te geven - want het is enkel in en als mijn adem dat ik macht heb in het maken van de keuze om op te staan voor leven in plaats van bewustzijn - en dat ik eigenwaarde heb in het eren van mijzelf als een en gelijk als leven en niets te aanvaarden dat minder is dan wie ik ben.

Ik vergeef mijzelf dat ik mijzelf niet heb toegestaan en aanvaard om in te zien dat elke dat waarin ik mijzelf niet uitspreek over de gevolgen en de waarden van ons kapitalistisch systeem, dat ik steeds meer kinderen toesta om op te groeien met hetzelfde averechtse waarde-systeem waarmee ikzelf ben opgegroeid, waarbij we continue zoeken en hunkeren naar een gevoel van zelf-bepaling en eigenwaarde buiten onszelf - waarbij we steeds meer en meer controlerend worden naar onze omgeving toe omdat we ons steeds meer en meer bedreigd voelen en steeds in angst leven om ons gevoel van macht en eigenwaarde te verliezen en ons, in plaats daarvan, machteloos, hulpeloos, minderwaardig en miezerig te voelen.

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For Context, please check out the Discussion currently happening on Facebook on the Afterlife Awareness and After-Death Communication page - under the following post:

Jackie Bourassa

The true definition of what "death" is has been on my mind recently. I've read about many people experiencing OBE's during surgery, during very traumatic accidents and many other situations where their systems were in shock. What I find even more interesting is many of the same out of body experiences are occurring in people who are normally healthy. It's called astral travel or astral projection. I was a critic until I began "flying" at the beginning of 2012. It started happening at night, usually the moment I fall asleep, however it has recently been occurring during the day in deep meditation. My physical body is not dead yet I experience travel on many different dimensions. I can no longer honestly say that death is an ending, rather it's a beginning of new experience or an awakening. Anyone else experiencing this beautiful phenomenon?

OBE's, NDE's, ADC - all these points are not the sole cause of the state of the world. They are rather ways in which we participate in the one problem that is causing the state of the world: which is not taking responsibility. And this is something people do in general, not just love-and-light-seekers, not just OBE'rs, NDE'rs or this particular facebook group. I personally don't have any experience with OBE/NDE or ADC. But I understand the underlying motivations for it. And that is where the problem lies.

We grow up in this world as children expecting nothing but fun - and then we grow up and we see that things are tough and people are often nasty. We learn about how we have to earn money to get by and we learn about how there are people who don't have money to survive. We learn about deception, about manipulation and about abuse. Now - we can either try to live our own lives and try to be as happy as we can be on an individual level - or we can look at why the world is the way it is and how we can fix it. As far as I'm concerned, I only have this one life - I may have more, but I can't verify such claims. So - I work with what I know: I have one lifetime. And in a life, we actually have quite a lot of time - and if I dedicate this time towards investigating the problems in the world and finding solutions that would work for everyone - as well as taking the staps to actually implement those solutions - then that is a life worth living. If all would do this, the world would be sorted out in no time. But instead - I've found that people prefer to just try to make their own life work and try to find some happiness and fulfillment on a personal level. I mean - that's what I was doing, that's what everyone I've ever met was/is doing. But to me that is not acceptable, because that means that when I bring a child into the world, it will expect a life of fun, but instead, I will present it with the same disappointments and horrors that I was faced with growing up: that this world is a mess and that no-one has really done any attempt to change it in any susbtantial way.

As I said, I don't have experience with OBE and things like that - but I had a different 'mission' or passion in my life - which was dancing. It was my one point of 'light' and 'comfort' because when I was dancing, I did not think about everything else in my life - it was just me, my body, other people's bodies, the music, the rythm, the flow - it was like perfect harmony and like in that moment nothing else existed but this perfect harmony. And I was great in school - I skipped a grade because I was considered 'above average' in intelligence, but I wasn't interested in studying - I wanted to dedicate my life to dancing on a professional level, because that was what made me happy.

Then I came across Desteni and I was faced with the same question you're faced with now: which was - why do you do it? Do you do it from a starting point of self-interest or because it will bring about solutions that work for everyone? And to test the answer for myself I did the following: I imagined my life without dancing. Immediately, I felt sooo sad, desperate and depressed. And that's how I knew that the reason I danced was to hide from how I really feel - to try to be happy on an individual level. It was not because it was going to help anyone - although, I could probably make up reasons and justifications of how dancing can help people. That was not the point - the point is not whether it could help people, the point was that this was not the reason why I was doing it. I was doing it to feel something positive, to feel special, to feel good about myself. But those experiences were not real or valid, because they didn't last - they only lasted for as long as I was dancing. I wasn't a ball of light, I wasn't special and I wasn't in any way better or a virtuous person. I just felt that way.

So - when I realised what I've just explained - I made a decision to give up dancing for this life - to stop trying to dedicate my life to dancing. Because I realised that dancing was not going to change me - it was just going to change the way I feel for a moment. And if I would continue participating in my blissful state of dancing, it would stand in my way of really facing who I am and what I really experience - and it would stand in my way of seeing the problems in the world and how they need to be sorted out. No-one wants to feel shitty, but we all do on some level. And from one perspective, we all have to sort out our internal world, but from another, we have to sort out the external conditions that support inner conflict and inner confusion as well. So - I decided that with this lifetime - I had a decision to make - and I decided to dedicate the time I have in this life towards finding real solutions instead of personal happiness and gratification.

And this is the decision each of you basically have to make - not that we're demanding it or because we're popping the question - it's a decision you make whether you're aware of it or not - now we're just placing the question in your awareness so you can make a more informed decision. Unless we realise that we're all in the same boat - whether we're an OBE'r a dancer, a drug addict, a criminal or, a desperate housewife, or a disillusioned child - we're only ever going to be chasing happiness through personal experiences - but it will never be real and it will never last and it will never create the world we actually would like to live in.

And - it is not about joining Desteni or agreeing with 'us'. This is about who you want to be and what you'll say when you die when you ask yourself the question: What did I actually do with my Life?

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