This blog is a continuation to
Day 72: My Body, My Battlefield,
Day 73: Afraid of Petrification

Specific points of fear I identified in relation to watching an episode of 'Curiosity' on what happens on a cellular level when a virus attacks the human body:

1. A secret intruder/a lurking evil
2. The conning and deceiving of the body's cells
3. The complete take-over of a cell, where 'who the cell originally was' becomes non-existent and becomes an incubator for little virus babies
4. The manipulation of 'innocent' proteins
5. The ruthlessness/mercilessness in instant destruction
6. The singlemindedness of having one singular goal of destruction

2. The conning and deceiving of the body's cells

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in fear to seeing how the virus deceives and cons the cells of the human body to its own advantage.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear deception in others out of fear of being placed in a position of disadvantage and inferiority.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that one of my first experiences of deception was in friendships - where I would expect a friend to stand by me, but didn't - or when a friend made a comment about me that I found to be mean/nasty - and my experience within those moments that I experienced as 'deceit', I would experience myself as powerless, betrayed, hurt, inferior, lied to, sad, ashamed, embarrassed, self-conscious and diminished.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be conned/deceived by others out of fear of feeling powerless, betrayed, hurt, inferior, lied to, sad, ashamed, embarrased, self-conscious and diminished.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the reason I fear to be deceived or conned by another is only out of fear of how I would experience myself after finding out that I have been deceived - as experiencing powerless, betrayed, hurt, inferior, lied to, sad, ashamed, embarrassed, self-conscious and diminised.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in continuous distrust of others because the possibility always exists that someone deceives/cons me - and therefore, always be 'on guard' and as though wearing an imaginative armour, where I suppress everything within myself out of fear of my own experience in case I were to be conned/deceived - so that I would apparently not be 'touched' or 'affected' by it - when actually, I am, but just suppress the experience - both to not feel it as well as to not show the other I am feeling it, because I feel/believe that if the other knows, it will make my experience ten times worse, as though I am giving the conner/deceiver what he/she wants.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the reason why I know that I can be conned/deceived at any moment, is because I do this myself as well - where I will con/deceive others to see me in a particular way or con/deceive myself into not having to face myself or take responsibilities - even conning and deceiving in ways that I am not aware of it - the ULTIMATE CON - lol - and thus, that the only way to stop the continuous mutual fear that exists among beings in relation to each other - is to stop the deceptive nature within myself - to stop the chain reaction and feedback loop of 'con or be conned' - and stand as the point of change that can have a domino-effect on those around me by standing as an example of self-trust and thus, in turn, if each one develops their own self-trust, we may learn to trust each other.

To be continued.

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• Day 72: My Body, My Battlefield
• Dag 73: Afraid of Petrification
• Day 120: Intelligence and Deception
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On the Curiosity show I saw an episode wherein they show what happens on a cellular level when a person gets a cold. I was absolutely astounded and shocked.

They showed in great detail how the virus penetrates the skin, how it moves through the cel, the defensive agents of the body that take action and how the virus usually sidesteps the attack or outclevers the defense system. Viruses have evolved to such an extent that they use the very tactics used by body to destroy it as a key-strategy for its own plan. Like - where it looks like the body is 'winning' - and then the virus goes: 'muahahaha! I was counting on that!'

The whole episode felt more frightening than any space-battle I have ever seen in sci-fi stuff. It's fascinating how we're going through our lives, completely unaware of the countless battles that are fought in our own body on a continuous basis.

The whole time I was thinking 'Damn! That virus is so EVIL!!' It's only purpose is to replicate, infect and ultimately destroy - a killing machine. By the end the virus had reprogrammed a cell to carry out the orders that the virus carried within him in his DNA: to replicate the virus and create an army. The virus, thus infiltrates the cell and uses it against itself. Once the army was unleashed, in a final attempt to stop the attack, surrounding cells sacrificed themselves. I mean - this is like ultimate warfare and it's not happening out in space - but right here in our very cells.

Also the defense systems used by the body were absolutely ruthless, tearing the virus apart and sucking it up - I mean, it was creepy.

If you want evidence of the statement: as above, so below - I suggest you watch the Episode - you can find it on YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx3Jghr-LYA. The evil of human nature not only manifests in our behaviour towards others, in the rules of our economic system and in political scheming and strategising - it determines the interactions within our tissue, within our flesh, within our cells. One of the worst fears I grew up with was the fear of a war breaking out - it absolutely paralysed me - the thought of it was petrifying and the idea of the chaos and the fear I would probably experience were like my worst nightmare. Yet, all this time, war is being waged inside ourselves.

I mean - what does this say about my awareness? That it is basically non-existent - if I am not even aware of my own cells and what goes on within them. I have to get a snotty nose before I realise something's up - but by that time several battles have already been fought.

So - what are the specific points of fear that came up?

1. A secret intruder/a lurking evil
2. The conning and deceiving of the body's cells
3. The complete take-over of a cell, where 'who the cell originally was' becomes non-existent and becomes an incubator for little virus babies
4. The manipulation of 'innocent' proteins
5. The ruthlessness/mercilessness in instant destruction
6. The singlemindedness of having one singular goal of destruction

I'll take on these points through Self-Forgiveness in my next blog.

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• Day 210: Demons - ADC - Part 58
• Day 69: Preparing for Armageddon
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• Day 70: Creating Ultimate G.I. Jane Character to Cheat Death
• Day 206: The Relationship between Pain and the Body - ADC - Part 54

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After I had used a picture of a handshake for my blog-post on Agreements – I started wondering where the hell the custom of shaking hands actually comes from.
I briefly discussed it with Leila and we figured that – although handshakes are currently a symbol of equality, agreement, camaraderie, welcoming and respect – it probably has its origin in deception.

The clinging of glasses against each other is an example of a symbol or custom – which currently has a ‘positive’ connotation – that has its origins within deception: people would cling their glasses together to make sure that the person they’re drinking with hadn’t poisoned their drink. As the glasses/cups/mugs hit each other – the contents of the one glass will spill over into the other one and vice versa. Thus – if the other had poisoned my drink, he will now have to drink his own poison, because the drinks have now been ‘mixed’.  If the other is willing to drink – then I know that drinking is safe.

So – the practice of clinging glasses against each other before drinking was done to ‘prove’ to each other that ‘I have no mischievous intentions’ – and thus, originates in distrust and fear of betrayal.

So – I was curious as to where handshakes originated from – I looked it up. Here is the most common explanation:

There are 3 steps within the handshake:

1. The extension of the hand to the other
   
2. The grabbing of the hand
   
3. The shaking of hands

And – lo and behold – each of these steps originated from a point of fear and distrust:

1. The extension of the hand to the other:

Extending your open hand to the person across from you – usually the right hand – was a sign that you weren’t carrying a weapon. Weapons were usually held in the right hand, therefore one would extend the right hand in front of self, so that the person across can see that you’re not carrying a weapon.

2. The grabbing of the hand:

The grabbing of the hand was done to ensure that – if any small weapons had been hidden, one would be able to feel them. Either one would grab the wrist instead of the hand, to feel if there was something hidden underneath the sleeve – or one would grab the hand with the right hand and with the left hand pat down the arm. Any hidden weapons or objects would be felt and revealed.

3. The shaking of hands:

To absolutely make sure that there are no surprises – one would shake hands – any objects or weapons that had been missed in the previous step, would fall out of the sleeve.
Such customs reveal the reality that: everything that we perceive as ‘positive’ actually has its origins within that which we deem as ‘negative’. One can verify this for each and every single point within reality that self sees as ‘good’ or ‘positive’ – it all originates within deception.

To train yourself in seeing through the veil of perception – Join Desteni ‘I’ Process: www.desteniiprocess.com Learn more »