This blog is a continuation of: Day 30: Goodness as Positivity, Day 31: You're My HERO!!! and Day 32: Consistency - continuing to purify the word 'Good'.

In my mind, I associate the word 'Good' with: 

Having High Grades in School

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within having high grades in school.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I score high grades in school, that I actually am a better person.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to accept my common sense as a child when I saw that it can’t make me special or different that I have high scores, because I just simply understood everything and, thus, I didn’t do anything different or better than other kids per say – the only difference is that I just happened to understand the information as it was presented to me and others didn’t – yet, instead allowed myself to feel good and better aboutmyself when my parents and brother were amazed with my grades to the point of being in tears when seeing my school report.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am in relation to grades – entirely taking grades personally, where I believed that grades represent me, instead of realising that they merely represented how much of the information was effectively integrated.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a character of being a star pupil because in playing this card/playing out this character, I was always ensured to get a lot of praise and attention, which in those moments would make me feel good about myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse my ability to understand with ease to get attention, praise and positive energy from those who don’t have the same ability – when obviously, I didn’t do anything to have this ability, I was born with it, and thus it doesn’t make any sense for someone with certain ‘born-with’ skills or abilities to be praised for those skills or abilities – because it doesn’t have anything to do with the being – it was determined through DNA.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make myself believe that Ireally do deserve to be praised and admired for having high grades, believing that my ability in understanding and processing information is something I brought about, instead of realising that I had nothing to do with it and that I am thus no more or less than anyone else in this respect, as we were all equally dealt cards by someone/something else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the star pupil character in order to hide the aspects of/in myself that I was not proud of – because in playing the star pupil, I would be praised and be given a sense of pride, to suppress my inner experiences of shame, guilt and regret.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, whenever I am faced with a being that I see as authoritative, enter into the ‘star pupil character’, trying to convince them that I always do everything right, out of fear that they will punish me/lash out on me if they see that I really don’t.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to condition myself into wanting to have high grades, because with high grades comes reward and with low grades comes punishment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have extreme fear of being punished as a child as I saw that teachers/parents really looked at children they punished with eyes that said: “You’re a bad child!!!”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel utterly ashamed within myself the first time I got punished by a teacher for spilling salt – because I thought it meant that I was a bad child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself in relation to punishment and reward, and thus, in essence, according to how others judgeme in relation to what I do/say or how I perform.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be seen as a bad child and to fear to be a bad child.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be seen as a bad person and fear to be a bad person.

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In the picture above I have laid out how I have been living the word 'good' as how I have defined the word within and through my Mind. In the following blog-posts I will be deconstructing the word 'Good' as how I had defined it with self-forgiveness, to then redefine it in alignment to Oneness and Equality.

Part 1: Self-Forgiveness on Positive Charge attached to the word ‘Good’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a positive energetic charge to the word ‘good’ within and as myself and my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as a positive energetic feeling of mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the essence of the meaning of the word ‘Good’ lies within/can be found within the positiveenergetic feeling of mind that I had attached to the word ‘Good’ – instead of realising that it is I who has attached a positive energetic feeling to the word ‘good’ myself and thus that this feeling/charge cannot bear meaning on the word itself as the word was here before I attached this charge to it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as though I am committing sacrilege by removing the positive charge from the word ‘good’ – believing that the connection between the word and the feeling has to be and is supposed to be and that there will be unpleasant consequences if I try to make such a change in my vocabulary – as though it is a crime punishable by God.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define positive feeling energy as a feeling endowed by God himself where if I remove this energy, I am defying God and therefore, fear that God will punish me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word ‘good’ within and as a religious construct of mind, in relation to the word and concept of a ‘God’ that is almighty and is the final judge in terms of goodness and badness and has as such the power and right to, within judgment, condemn one to heaven or hell.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear God and to fear that God will judge me as bad and herein condemn me to hell as eternal suffering, disgrace and dishonour.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that in order to be honourable I must honour the word of God.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a ‘God’ to exist within and as me that has more power than me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that there is no God existing within and as me and that the only one judging me is myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that the only director and creator of my world is me and not some separate entity that exists as an idea in the minds of men as an all-powerful being that controls, directs and creates the world in its entirety where we are but pawns in his big plan.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself in terms of ‘goodness’ and ‘badness’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be judged/judge myself as ‘good’ and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear to be judged/judge myself as ‘bad’.

To be continued...

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