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Dag 112: Designing the Perfect Character to Live my Life For Me
So, when my partner suggested that it is not to try to design the future/myself in the future - but to design the foundation within and as myself to be able to walk into each new moment in a way where I can trust myself to be able to direct myself/my life/my environment most effectively - I went *bzzt*, *blip*, *do not compute* - lol.
I've created such a habit throughout my life to, always, when there is change ahead - go into future projections to try to predict what could/might happen, and thus, who I must be/must be able to be to handle all the different possible futures. Within this - I would project my current character into a potential future and if I saw/found/felt that my current character would not be able to 'handle' this particular future - then I would look for particular individuals within my life/my past of which I think would be able to handle such a future - to then, try to identify what particular character of them it is that I find is suitable to handle the future - and therefore, try to integrate this character into mine - so that I can feel like I have an arsenal of weapons as characters available that I can activate/become when required to handle with a situation.
So - in essence - what I am working on is to design an arsenal of characters that can 'take over from me' in moments where I would feel inadequate to direct the situation. It is like, literally, giving over the reigns to a character, so that I don't actually have to take responsibility within such situation, but, instead, can take a step back and hide in my own fear of failure.
And the purpose/goal within this is to design a 'final character' of the 'Adult Maite' - lol - one that is flexible and consists of various different characters and aspects of characters so that in any situation - I can call upon the exact character/aspect of a character that I see would be best to handle/direct a particular situation.
So - lol - in essence I'm trying to design the ultimate 'AutoPilot' system so that I can just sit back and enjoy the ride - where I in essence don't have to do anything anymore - because everything would automatically be taken care of by the various characters that form part of my 'suppreme adult character'.
What I see within this in terms of bringing the point back to myself and looking at my relationship with myself - is that I feel/believe that I am limited in terms of the things that I can do/am able to handle/am able to direct - and that any challenge is a point where I freeze - where I hit what I perceive to be 'the boundary of my capabilities' and that to be able to take on the challenge - would require me to 'step out of myself'. And this experience - is what provides the justification of why a character should now step in to take on the challenge for me. It's like when watching scary movies as a child and I would sit on my father's lap - but when scary part comes - my dad had to cover my eyes. And the same with facing a challenge, I just hide in 'non-existence' - where I literally stand back within myself and allow a character to take over in the belief that I need something/someone else to face the challenge for me.
And what's fascinating to see is that this point is something I've been busy with/preparing for my entire life - every time expanding and specifying characters so that I can move/participate in this world in the apparently most effective way possible - at least - that's what it would look like from the outside - where on the surface, everything is peachy-perfect and all is under control - lol - without any consideration for what I would actually be experiencing within and as myself and for I would actually be accepting and allowing. Because what I accept and allow in myself finds expression in how this entire world operates. And - before everything was inverted - I could've gotten away with this. However, now - whatever I accept and allow manifests direct consequences in myself and my own life - and so, this entire plan comes crumbling down as being utterly ineffective - lol.
There is no way around self-responsibility - there is no way around self-expansion. Therefore, to walk self-responsibility and self-expansion most effectively, I require to redefine the word 'challenge' - so that when I encounter a challenge - it is not a sign for me to 'shut down' - but an indication that I have an opportunity here to break through self-imposed limitations and work towards expanding myself and perfecting myself - not expanding or perfecting a character - but ME - so that I can live my life - and so that I don't have my Life lived FOR me. If I don't live my own life - then by the time I die - I'll go 'No, but WAIT! I haven't even started living yet!' I really don't want to end up in that position...
To be continued.
Day 57: Doubting Myself after a Decision
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear I did something wrong in contacting J.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am kidding myself within making the decision to contact J like there is no way that this could be the point that was missing from my application.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry about right and wrong in relation to the decision I made and action of contaction of contacting J to create a clear ending to the relationship - instead of realising that this is what I saw in the moment and if there are any points that I missed, then I will face the points as I am faced with the consequences - and within facing the consequences, I will take responsibility and learn from the mistake.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to test something unconditionally, but want to be sure/certain of the outcome beforehand.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself when assessing that there are no points I see I can address in writing and self-forgiveness at this stage and thus, that an action as communicating with J might be what is missing from my application as the one thing I have resisted doing from the start.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare this point of communication with J to the other moments in my process where I considered communicating with him, where the other times I realised the starting point was self-dishonest, and therefore assumed that this time it must be self-dishonest as well - immediately prefering to believe that I fucked up instead of giving myself the benefit of the doubt and simply see what happens/what points come up and work through them as they are revealed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am trying to 'fix' myself through someone else.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am being self-dishonest and thus, fear my own self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my self-dishonest, and thus, fear myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to get to know myself in every possible detail and ensuring that what I get to know of myself is always aligned to oneness and equality as what is best for all - so that I can enjoy myself, trust myself and stand as myself absolutely - without having to constantly second-guess myself because of fearing that I have some secretly hidden agenda.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have blinded myself from my own self-dishonesties because of not wanting to face myself - resulting now in the constant experience of not being able to trust myself, because I am not aware of myself as the entirety of who I am and constantly fear that there is a self-interested motivation lurking behind my actions in the dark corners of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own self-dishonesties.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created and designed myself in such a way that I don't feel comfortable in my own skin - because I simply don't know who I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear regretting my decision to contact/communicate with J.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume that I made a mistake in contacting/communicating with J and project myself into the future experiencing the regret I would feel if I were to realise I had made a mistake - but because of the future projection, already bring the regret here, in this moment - and thus, 'confirming' within myself the idea that I did indeed make a mistake - because 'I am already regretting my decision'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think 'what if i did something wrong?'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having to face possible consequential out-flows of my actions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking responsibility for possible consequential out-flows and their origin-points.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that within communicating with J I was taking responsibiilty for a consequential outflow and its origin-point!
When and as I see myself doubting my actions, I stop, I breathe. I realise that I cannot know the outcome of my actions beforehand and that if my starting point was indeed not clear, then I will see it within the manifested consequences. And thus, I commit myself to unconditionally test things without the desire of having absolute certainty of the outcome before I have done it and I commit myself to accept that I will make mistakes and that when I see/realise that I have made a mistake, I can and will learn from them.
When and as I see myself thinking that I may have done something wrong, I stop, I breathe. I realise that I am accessing the morality and judgment character where I attempt to place my action in a box of either 'right' or 'wrong' - and thus, I commit myself to let go of the want/desire to judge my actions and simply see it for what it is - without trying/attempting to predict the future in terms of consequences I may be facing as a way of trying/attempting to prepare myself for facing a future consequence.
When and as I see myself regretting a decision I have made/action I have taken because I have doubts about whether or not the decision/action was self-honest - I stop, I breathe - I realise I am accessing the control character and am trying to make sure that I will have no unpleasant aftertaste of this decision - and that, I have really just projected myself into the future in playing out the worst case scenario and brought the expeirence of regret that I would experience in such a scenario here, and accepted it as being real. Therefore, I commit myself to let go of the experience of regret and don't allow myself to accept it as real/validate the experience of regret within myself - but instead stay in the moment and walk one breath at a time - without anticipating any future moment, but remaining in the present moment and 'concerning' myself only with what is here right now.
When and as I see myself fearing the future as facing consequences of self-dishonesties - I stop, I breathe. I realise that the manifestation of consequences is a necessary point within process as we do not know the entirety of ourselves and thus - within facing consequences we reveal a part of ourselves that was hidden before, allowing us to find all pieces of ourselves that we have hidden and separated ourselves from and aligning them to oneness and equality as what is best for all. And thus, I commit myself to let go of the fear of the future and the fear of facing consequences and accept that I am walking a process of learning, where I can only act within the information that is available to me in the present moment - and thus, I commit myself to stop expecting perfection of myself when I know that that is a premature demand at this stage in my process, as I am aware that there are still parts/aspects of myself that I have not yet explored/seen/aligned.
Day 3 - We’re Clueless!!!
Yesterday I made mayonnaise for the first time. I’ve eaten mayonnaise my whole life. I used to be very peculiar about what foods I liked and which I didn’t and Gabriel, my brother, showed me how, if you just cut up everything in your plate, add mayonnaise and then mash it all together, it suddenly becomes a lot tastier – lol. In all those years, however, I never bothered to find out what mayonnaise is, what’s in it or how it’s made. You buy mayonnaise in the shop, you open it, you eat it – that’s what I knew about it. My grandmother used to make mayonnaise once in a while – I thought that because she’s very skilled with cooking that she can do something like that. For some reason I thought it would be very difficult to make.
So, yesterday I try out a recipe for mayonnaise. I basically had to chuck a very small amount of ingredients in a jug and then mix them together. For the most part, it consisted of egg yolk and vegetable oil. When I saw the ingredients in the jug I was like “huh, how is that ever going to turn out like mayo?'”Anyhow, I continued to follow the recipe’s instructions by first holding the blender to the bottom of the jug and mixing for 15 seconds. Already after a few seconds the ‘liquidy’ mix started turning into a more jelly-like substance. I was like WOOOOW! I had no idea that THAT’s how they made mayonnaise. It was like magic! It was suddenly just there. It took me 2 minutes to make the mayo – and it was pretty damn good too.
What I want to get to is the following: I’m part of a quick-fix generation. We buy stuff and we consume it. Firstly, we have no idea where it comes from, how it’s produced or what the hidden processes and consequences of the products are. Secondly, the idea is created that various things are very difficult to do – just because we don’t know how to do it. We don’t know how to build a house, we don’t know how to fix machines, we don’t know how to tile a floor, we don’t know how to make furniture, we don’t know how to slaughter and process chickens, hell – we don’t even know how to make fucking mayo!
We’re so used to having other people worry about that stuff for us, that we’ve become completely clueless – to the point where we think that the only way that we can eat mayo is to go and buy it in a shop. If I had known how easy and fun it is to make, I would’ve never bought mayo. Why would you choose to buy ‘Miracle Whip’ – when you can just whip up the miracle right in front of you!
And mayo is not the big deal – it’s the fact that we take everything for granted. We just accept the idea that ‘we can’t do it’ or ‘it’s too difficult’ – when it’s really not. If you go and take the time to make your hands dirty and get to know how shit gets done – you become skilled at it and you realise it’s really no biggy. All our lives we’ve been catered for and have really become lazy, oblivious and clueless little creatures. It seems silly, but when I made the mayonnaise I felt so much shame – because this thing that I had been consuming my whole life of which I thought it must take a lot of skill to make, I whipped up in a matter of minutes. It just showed me the extent in which I’ve denied myself the opportunities to be a part of this world by not allowing myself to practically participating in it.
My generation is not a generation of participation – it’s a generation of consumers. We don’t participate in the production process, we don’t participate in anything that has something to do with what makes this physical world go ‘round. Even if our job has something to do with producing particular goods – then those goods is mostly all we know about and everything else remains a big mystery. We’ve completely separated ourselves from the world we live in – limited our existence to being mere consumers of it. Even in the bible it doesn’t say that God left the Earth in the hands of man so that man can consume it – we’re supposed to take care of it, be a part of it – and we’re not.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be a part of this world.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to participate in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my existence in this world to that of being a consumer of it, instead of a participant.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself the opportunity to investigate how the world works, but instead just took everything for granted and counted on others to cater for me, presenting me with everything I need so that I can just consume it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be brainwashed into believing that everything that I don’t know about is too hard for me to know, understand or take part in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to completely separate myself from the world around me – only participating in that which gives me immediate satisfaction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the world as a big mystery and to be content just living my life oblivious in terms of how this world works and what my actions contribute to as consequences manifested from the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take the physical for granted, while the physical has been the one and only consistent thing that has always supported me and that has always supported every single being, no matter who they are, no matter what they do – unconditionally.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to learn about and learn from the physical to see how I’m able to improve myself – but instead entertain myself with fleeting thoughts, emotions, feelings, memories, sensations in my mind, looking for interesting experiences, where I reduce myself to but a fleeting moment, a fleeting thought, a fleeting emotion, a fleeting feeling, a fleeting memory or a fleeting sensation – instead of supporting myself to become substantial, consistent, supportive.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave the physical to the mental realm of the mind – utilising what the physical unconditionally provides for the purpose of satisfying my mental desires and wants for the sake of interesting and momentarily satisfying experiences.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reduce myself to becoming a clueless, oblivious creature.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through accepting the belief that I should only investigate how things work when it directly affects my current experience.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by experiences and the desire and want for interesting experiences.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as inferior to the world – thinking and believing that I am but a tiny spec of dust in the big scheme of things and therefore, there is no way that I can ever stand equal and one to the world, there is no way that I can ever understand the world and there is no way that I can ever fully participate in the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing comfort to override practical common sense – where I rather buy something that is already made for me – instead of producing the good myself, where I then learn about how the good is produced, what points are involved, where I am completely aware of what the good consists of, where it comes from and where I can ensure that the good is of the best quality possible.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy into the claim that capitalism ensures the best quality of goods for the least amount of resources due to competition, instead of realising that profit is the sole goal for agents in capitalism and that a client or consumer’s well-being is of no concern to them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave myself to the capitalist system, merely through accepting the one belief that “I can’t do it myself”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to chronically underestimate myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the belief that “I can’t do it myself” before even trying or investigating what is involved.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support slavery and inequality through accepting and allowing the thought and idea that “others can and are willing to make their hands dirty for me – why should I then bother with it?”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support the elite in this world through accepting and allowing the attitude within myself that someone else will do things for me and that I must just worry about making myself comfortable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into an anxious reaction whenever I am challenged to do something knew – due to immediately accepting the belief that “I can’t do it'” and “I will fail at it”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the statement “I can’t do it” and “It’s too difficult” as an excuse to not try new things for myself, out of fear of failing.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to apply the common sense that I cannot know the outcome of an attempt before having actually attempted it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing and failure.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that someone in the dark is keeping score of my achievements and failures – and that they will determine who I am and where I end up – whether in this life or the next.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the consequence of getting bad grades.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the education system to brainwash me into believing that grades and scores determine who I am, what I am capable of and what type of life I will lead.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – when I try to do my best – to do it out of fear of being judged on something like ‘judgment day’ or ‘karma’ – an invisible authority that will determine my fate – instead of realising that it is common sense to do something to the best of my ability, otherwise I’m just wasting my own time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subjugate myself to fear in a moment of being challenged to do something new, wherein I immediately give in to resistance – instead of taking on the challenge as a way to expand and perfect myself.
When and as I see myself feeling intimidated by something unknown – I stop, I breathe – I realise that the experience of intimidation stems from the mere belief that everything that is unknown is somehow bigger than me. Instead – I direct myself to stand equal and one to the point in the unknown, so that it becomes known, so that it is here as me – and from there I move as it, equal and one, a real participant in the world.
When and as I see myself being lazy and thinking that someone else can do it for me – I stop, I breathe – I realise that I am diminishing myself in that moment as well as supporting the entire construct of elite versus slaves in the world. Instead, I move myself to address the issue at hand myself – moving myself to participate and take responsibility for the point that presented itself in that moment.
When and as I see myself taking things for granted – I stop, I breathe – I realise that, through taking it for granted, I have separated myself from it. Instead, I move myself to investigate the particular point and in a way incorporate it into myself, as myself and I allow myself to be grateful for what is here as unconditional support form the physical, as well as seeing how I can apply in and for myself what the physical is doing automatically. Learn more »
So, yesterday I try out a recipe for mayonnaise. I basically had to chuck a very small amount of ingredients in a jug and then mix them together. For the most part, it consisted of egg yolk and vegetable oil. When I saw the ingredients in the jug I was like “huh, how is that ever going to turn out like mayo?'”Anyhow, I continued to follow the recipe’s instructions by first holding the blender to the bottom of the jug and mixing for 15 seconds. Already after a few seconds the ‘liquidy’ mix started turning into a more jelly-like substance. I was like WOOOOW! I had no idea that THAT’s how they made mayonnaise. It was like magic! It was suddenly just there. It took me 2 minutes to make the mayo – and it was pretty damn good too.
What I want to get to is the following: I’m part of a quick-fix generation. We buy stuff and we consume it. Firstly, we have no idea where it comes from, how it’s produced or what the hidden processes and consequences of the products are. Secondly, the idea is created that various things are very difficult to do – just because we don’t know how to do it. We don’t know how to build a house, we don’t know how to fix machines, we don’t know how to tile a floor, we don’t know how to make furniture, we don’t know how to slaughter and process chickens, hell – we don’t even know how to make fucking mayo!
We’re so used to having other people worry about that stuff for us, that we’ve become completely clueless – to the point where we think that the only way that we can eat mayo is to go and buy it in a shop. If I had known how easy and fun it is to make, I would’ve never bought mayo. Why would you choose to buy ‘Miracle Whip’ – when you can just whip up the miracle right in front of you!
And mayo is not the big deal – it’s the fact that we take everything for granted. We just accept the idea that ‘we can’t do it’ or ‘it’s too difficult’ – when it’s really not. If you go and take the time to make your hands dirty and get to know how shit gets done – you become skilled at it and you realise it’s really no biggy. All our lives we’ve been catered for and have really become lazy, oblivious and clueless little creatures. It seems silly, but when I made the mayonnaise I felt so much shame – because this thing that I had been consuming my whole life of which I thought it must take a lot of skill to make, I whipped up in a matter of minutes. It just showed me the extent in which I’ve denied myself the opportunities to be a part of this world by not allowing myself to practically participating in it.
My generation is not a generation of participation – it’s a generation of consumers. We don’t participate in the production process, we don’t participate in anything that has something to do with what makes this physical world go ‘round. Even if our job has something to do with producing particular goods – then those goods is mostly all we know about and everything else remains a big mystery. We’ve completely separated ourselves from the world we live in – limited our existence to being mere consumers of it. Even in the bible it doesn’t say that God left the Earth in the hands of man so that man can consume it – we’re supposed to take care of it, be a part of it – and we’re not.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be a part of this world.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to participate in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my existence in this world to that of being a consumer of it, instead of a participant.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself the opportunity to investigate how the world works, but instead just took everything for granted and counted on others to cater for me, presenting me with everything I need so that I can just consume it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be brainwashed into believing that everything that I don’t know about is too hard for me to know, understand or take part in.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to completely separate myself from the world around me – only participating in that which gives me immediate satisfaction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the world as a big mystery and to be content just living my life oblivious in terms of how this world works and what my actions contribute to as consequences manifested from the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take the physical for granted, while the physical has been the one and only consistent thing that has always supported me and that has always supported every single being, no matter who they are, no matter what they do – unconditionally.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to learn about and learn from the physical to see how I’m able to improve myself – but instead entertain myself with fleeting thoughts, emotions, feelings, memories, sensations in my mind, looking for interesting experiences, where I reduce myself to but a fleeting moment, a fleeting thought, a fleeting emotion, a fleeting feeling, a fleeting memory or a fleeting sensation – instead of supporting myself to become substantial, consistent, supportive.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave the physical to the mental realm of the mind – utilising what the physical unconditionally provides for the purpose of satisfying my mental desires and wants for the sake of interesting and momentarily satisfying experiences.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reduce myself to becoming a clueless, oblivious creature.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through accepting the belief that I should only investigate how things work when it directly affects my current experience.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by experiences and the desire and want for interesting experiences.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as inferior to the world – thinking and believing that I am but a tiny spec of dust in the big scheme of things and therefore, there is no way that I can ever stand equal and one to the world, there is no way that I can ever understand the world and there is no way that I can ever fully participate in the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing comfort to override practical common sense – where I rather buy something that is already made for me – instead of producing the good myself, where I then learn about how the good is produced, what points are involved, where I am completely aware of what the good consists of, where it comes from and where I can ensure that the good is of the best quality possible.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy into the claim that capitalism ensures the best quality of goods for the least amount of resources due to competition, instead of realising that profit is the sole goal for agents in capitalism and that a client or consumer’s well-being is of no concern to them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave myself to the capitalist system, merely through accepting the one belief that “I can’t do it myself”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to chronically underestimate myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the belief that “I can’t do it myself” before even trying or investigating what is involved.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support slavery and inequality through accepting and allowing the thought and idea that “others can and are willing to make their hands dirty for me – why should I then bother with it?”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support the elite in this world through accepting and allowing the attitude within myself that someone else will do things for me and that I must just worry about making myself comfortable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into an anxious reaction whenever I am challenged to do something knew – due to immediately accepting the belief that “I can’t do it'” and “I will fail at it”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the statement “I can’t do it” and “It’s too difficult” as an excuse to not try new things for myself, out of fear of failing.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to apply the common sense that I cannot know the outcome of an attempt before having actually attempted it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing and failure.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that someone in the dark is keeping score of my achievements and failures – and that they will determine who I am and where I end up – whether in this life or the next.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the consequence of getting bad grades.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the education system to brainwash me into believing that grades and scores determine who I am, what I am capable of and what type of life I will lead.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to – when I try to do my best – to do it out of fear of being judged on something like ‘judgment day’ or ‘karma’ – an invisible authority that will determine my fate – instead of realising that it is common sense to do something to the best of my ability, otherwise I’m just wasting my own time.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subjugate myself to fear in a moment of being challenged to do something new, wherein I immediately give in to resistance – instead of taking on the challenge as a way to expand and perfect myself.
When and as I see myself feeling intimidated by something unknown – I stop, I breathe – I realise that the experience of intimidation stems from the mere belief that everything that is unknown is somehow bigger than me. Instead – I direct myself to stand equal and one to the point in the unknown, so that it becomes known, so that it is here as me – and from there I move as it, equal and one, a real participant in the world.
When and as I see myself being lazy and thinking that someone else can do it for me – I stop, I breathe – I realise that I am diminishing myself in that moment as well as supporting the entire construct of elite versus slaves in the world. Instead, I move myself to address the issue at hand myself – moving myself to participate and take responsibility for the point that presented itself in that moment.
When and as I see myself taking things for granted – I stop, I breathe – I realise that, through taking it for granted, I have separated myself from it. Instead, I move myself to investigate the particular point and in a way incorporate it into myself, as myself and I allow myself to be grateful for what is here as unconditional support form the physical, as well as seeing how I can apply in and for myself what the physical is doing automatically. Learn more »
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