Gossiping - it's something that seems to just form part of social life -where we talk shit about people behind their backs to others. Sometimes it is used deliberately to sabotage a person's position or status, other times it seems harmless and innocent - but it's not. The Life Review 'Facing Gossip' is about a person whose life was ruined by gossip. It started out as with most people - in her teenage years - but it eventually took over her life and destroyed any chance of having any type of real and honest communication with other people.
If you're at the stage in your life where you're being 'introduced' to gossip - whether you're doing or whether you're being gossiped about, this interview is something you should listen to. If you've started gossiping yourself, the interview will show you exactly what you're in for and what chances you're taking with your life and your future. If you have any hopes within yourself to live a meaningful life, where you are fulfilled and able to connect with other people, share real and intimate moments with them - then you should reconsider gossiping about other people and the interview will explain why.
If - on the other hand, you find yourself being gossiped about - this interview will give you insight into why people gossip and how it's got nothing to do with you. So - to prevent yourself from shaping who you are in terms of what other peopl say about you - listen to this interview - it may change the further course of your life.
Gossip is never innocent and has many consequences - but we have an opportunity to educate ourselves on human behaviour so that we can take responsibility for it, for ourselves, for our lives and stop the harm that is being done through things like gossiping. Whether gossip is an acceptable part of human social life can be easily tested: you don't like being gossiped about - no one likes being gossiped about - we wouldn't want our child to come home crying because someone was gossiping about them, right? Then that's our answer.
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This blog-post is a continuation of:
Day 55: Today I Broke Up with my Ex
Day 56: Letting Go of an Old Flame
Day 57: Doubting Myself after a Decision
Day 58: Living Life in Service of Guilt
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place guilt above myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing/ready to live my life in service of guilt where I would place myself in a position of self-compromise to satisfy another person because I feel/believe that I have to make things up to them for me to feel better about my past.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have guilt direct me and my life - where I place guilt above myself as a dictator - and in the name of guilt, suppress my self-honesty and self-integrity completely.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself and be hard on myself for not having stood as the directive principle within this relationship-point - when I at that time did not have the tools to assist and support myself in what I was doing and how I was able to stand as this directive principle, or even understood what that meant.
When and as I see myself trusting a feeling/curiosity/desire/attraction instead of self-certainty - I stop, I breathe - I realise that I am trusting my mind over myself and that thus, in following these feelings/curiosities/desires/attractions I will end up in a situation of conflict and dilemma where I feel I am stuck, because the mind will always steer me to situations of conflict as it requires the energy that is generation through the friction in conflict to sustain itself - and thus, I commit myself to investigate the particular feelings, curiosities, desires and attractions in terms of what they are revealing to me about myself where I have separated aspects of me from myself by defining them/looking for them elsewhere - and I correct the points that are misaligned and direct myself in self-trust according to the self-certainty that is here.
When and as I see myself giving mixed signals to a person - where I allow them to remain in a certain point of delusion/illusion where I keep feeding this delusion/illusion through not speaking clearly where I stand and what I will accept and allow - I stop, I breathe - I realise that I am using another as a character in my play where I want to find out what it feels like to live out certain scenes/scenarios, and that I will eventually end up in a point of guilt and regret of what I had done in the name of self-interest - and thus, I commit myself to clearly communicate where I stand/what I will accept and allow so as to not feed any delusions/illusions in another and thus, treat the other in a way I would like to be treated.
When and as I see myself wondering what it would be like to live out a certain scenario/lifestyle/scene that I see on TV or read in books - I stop, I breathe - I realise that TV and books are really fiction and that how things play out on TV/books mostly has nothing to do with practical reality - and thus, I commit myself to assess whether that which I am curious about is practical and supportive of life and practically achievable and if not, I investigate the particular thoughts/emotions/ feelings/memories/ projections that came up in relation to the particular scenario/lifestyle/scene so as to see where within myself I feel that I am 'missing' something and I align the point accordingly through writing, SF and self-correction.
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This blog-post is a continuation to Day 55: Letting Go of an Old Flame.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear I did something wrong in contacting J.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am kidding myself within making the decision to contact J like there is no way that this could be the point that was missing from my application.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worry about right and wrong in relation to the decision I made and action of contaction of contacting J to create a clear ending to the relationship - instead of realising that this is what I saw in the moment and if there are any points that I missed, then I will face the points as I am faced with the consequences - and within facing the consequences, I will take responsibility and learn from the mistake.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to test something unconditionally, but want to be sure/certain of the outcome beforehand.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself when assessing that there are no points I see I can address in writing and self-forgiveness at this stage and thus, that an action as communicating with J might be what is missing from my application as the one thing I have resisted doing from the start.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare this point of communication with J to the other moments in my process where I considered communicating with him, where the other times I realised the starting point was self-dishonest, and therefore assumed that this time it must be self-dishonest as well - immediately prefering to believe that I fucked up instead of giving myself the benefit of the doubt and simply see what happens/what points come up and work through them as they are revealed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am trying to 'fix' myself through someone else.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am being self-dishonest and thus, fear my own self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my self-dishonest, and thus, fear myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear myself.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to get to know myself in every possible detail and ensuring that what I get to know of myself is always aligned to oneness and equality as what is best for all - so that I can enjoy myself, trust myself and stand as myself absolutely - without having to constantly second-guess myself because of fearing that I have some secretly hidden agenda.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have blinded myself from my own self-dishonesties because of not wanting to face myself - resulting now in the constant experience of not being able to trust myself, because I am not aware of myself as the entirety of who I am and constantly fear that there is a self-interested motivation lurking behind my actions in the dark corners of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own self-dishonesties.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have created and designed myself in such a way that I don't feel comfortable in my own skin - because I simply don't know who I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear regretting my decision to contact/communicate with J.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume that I made a mistake in contacting/communicating with J and project myself into the future experiencing the regret I would feel if I were to realise I had made a mistake - but because of the future projection, already bring the regret here, in this moment - and thus, 'confirming' within myself the idea that I did indeed make a mistake - because 'I am already regretting my decision'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think 'what if i did something wrong?'.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having to face possible consequential out-flows of my actions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking responsibility for possible consequential out-flows and their origin-points.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realise that within communicating with J I was taking responsibiilty for a consequential outflow and its origin-point!
When and as I see myself doubting my actions, I stop, I breathe. I realise that I cannot know the outcome of my actions beforehand and that if my starting point was indeed not clear, then I will see it within the manifested consequences. And thus, I commit myself to unconditionally test things without the desire of having absolute certainty of the outcome before I have done it and I commit myself to accept that I will make mistakes and that when I see/realise that I have made a mistake, I can and will learn from them.
When and as I see myself thinking that I may have done something wrong, I stop, I breathe. I realise that I am accessing the morality and judgment character where I attempt to place my action in a box of either 'right' or 'wrong' - and thus, I commit myself to let go of the want/desire to judge my actions and simply see it for what it is - without trying/attempting to predict the future in terms of consequences I may be facing as a way of trying/attempting to prepare myself for facing a future consequence.
When and as I see myself regretting a decision I have made/action I have taken because I have doubts about whether or not the decision/action was self-honest - I stop, I breathe - I realise I am accessing the control character and am trying to make sure that I will have no unpleasant aftertaste of this decision - and that, I have really just projected myself into the future in playing out the worst case scenario and brought the expeirence of regret that I would experience in such a scenario here, and accepted it as being real. Therefore, I commit myself to let go of the experience of regret and don't allow myself to accept it as real/validate the experience of regret within myself - but instead stay in the moment and walk one breath at a time - without anticipating any future moment, but remaining in the present moment and 'concerning' myself only with what is here right now.
When and as I see myself fearing the future as facing consequences of self-dishonesties - I stop, I breathe. I realise that the manifestation of consequences is a necessary point within process as we do not know the entirety of ourselves and thus - within facing consequences we reveal a part of ourselves that was hidden before, allowing us to find all pieces of ourselves that we have hidden and separated ourselves from and aligning them to oneness and equality as what is best for all. And thus, I commit myself to let go of the fear of the future and the fear of facing consequences and accept that I am walking a process of learning, where I can only act within the information that is available to me in the present moment - and thus, I commit myself to stop expecting perfection of myself when I know that that is a premature demand at this stage in my process, as I am aware that there are still parts/aspects of myself that I have not yet explored/seen/aligned.
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